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Challenges (Schick Hydro)

Episode ID: 693

Air date: 2014-06-25

Video: Link

Scribe: u/fwavoy

[Jake and Amir are at their desks. Amir is wearing headphones.]

AMIR: Challenge Friday.

JAKE: What?

AMIR: [yelling] Challenge Friday.

JAKE: Stop yelling.

AMIR: [taking off his headphones] Sorry. I couldn't hear myself.

JAKE: You heard me say "what" at a normal volume.

AMIR: I couldn't hear myself. I could hear you just fine.

JAKE: Don't ever present information like you're outsmarting me.

AMIR: Challenge Friday is the day where I challenge and beat you at anything you choose.

JAKE: I didn't ask, but fine. I challenge you to be quiet for the rest of the day.

[Amir quietly processes Jake's challenge, then turns to his computer and begins typing.]

JAKE: Can't believe that worked.

AMIR: Hang on, sorry. I'm just amending the Challenge Friday rules. Now I get to choose the challenge.

JAKE: Smart.

AMIR: [holding a red yo-yo] Eating challenge.

JAKE: You're holding a yo-yo.

AMIR: I could swallow it.

JAKE: Don't.

AMIR: [with shaving cream on his face, and holding a razor] Shaving contest! Schick Hydro challenge!

JAKE: How did you already cover your entire face in shaving cream?

AMIR: I don't know! Why don't you ask my Schick Hydro!

[Amir slowly begins shaving.]

JAKE: Don't ask me to talk to your razor.

AMIR: [now missing the shaving cream, the razor, and a rectangular patch of beard from his shaving] Challenge: who has the longest umbilical cord? [lifting up his shirt off-screen] Go!

JAKE: Oh! My God, how do you still have that? Why is it so long?

AMIR: Neither my doctors nor my parents thought I should have a normal bellybutton.

JAKE: Sad.

AMIR: [picking the yo-yo back up] It seems an eating challenge is in order. [bringing the yo-yo to his mouth] Eat! Eat! Eat!

JAKE: No! Don't, don't, don't!

AMIR: What's the matter, Jakey? Afraid I can't swallow a yo-yo?

JAKE: Yes! I am afraid of that!

AMIR: Here we go, one time.

[Amir shoves the yo-yo into his mouth. Jake cringes. Amir has the yo-yo in his throat, but is still holding the string.]

AMIR: Amir wins again!

JAKE: You okay?

AMIR: Oh! It's dropping into my stomach! Oh, back up! [laughs]

JAKE: You want me to call 911?

AMIR: Yes.
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