J: What's up? It's Jake and Amir! A: Ooh, what's up, you're a real rap star. J: Shut up.
J: C'mon baby, c'mon fever mode. OH! FEVER MODE! Yes. Let me show this game my "oh!" face. Oh, oh,-... Agh! Damnit.
Amir arrives and sits next to him on couch
A: What are you doing?
J: Trying to play Tiny Wings man! What're you doing, trying to ruin my life. Wait, scratch that, succeeding in Ruining. My. Life.
A: There was a company-wide meeting and you weren't there and people got concerned because they haven't seen you around the office!
J: Really? They couldn't jus' figure out I had better things to POO!?
Jake makes loud and crude farting noises, and gestures his phone coming out of his pants
J: OH! plugs nose
There is a complete silence for a good 10 seconds.
A: Uh, you okay?
J: I'm fine.
A: Why don't you take a break from playing this g-
J: DEAD ARM! CHARLIE HORSE! Slap to the face. Hits Amir in the arm, leg and slaps him
J: Sorry to beat you, just that I've been on a beating kick lately. I, uh, beat the game! chuckles
A: You haven't beat the game yet, you have one objective le-
J: I still basically beat the game! You ass! Yeah, I have one objective left, I just can't get 200 coins.
A: I've done that.
J: Have you also done Cindy Crawford, while you're still lying about shit? A: Cindy Crawford?
J: Hottest model around. Cindy.com/photo-gallery? Yeah! Yummy yummy, on my thumby! Ms. Crawford, have a seat! Uh-oh! I've got a Cindy Popsicle now! licks
A: pulls out iPhone Look. 240 coins, that's my record, okay?
J:Congrats, bud! You officially have more free time than me. As a prize, you get to do it on my phone, and if you don't, I'm 'onna tell everybody that you kissed a prince.
A: Whatd'ya mean, kissed a-
Jake pecks him on the cheek
A: What the hell wa-
J: PRINCE.
Amir takes Jake's phone and starts playing
J: Good height! Start out high on the first jump.
Amir jolts the phone a little higher
J: I do that all the time, man. Why don't you get a cloud touch? Simple, bitch.
A: I am!
J: I call it a cloud much! Because, I do it, muchly. High jump! Except you don't get extra points for jumping high, do you?
A: On this game, yes.
J: Not coins, though! We're looking for coins, aren't we bud! You really are a simple, simple...
A: 201 coins!
J: BITCH! Jake takes the phone and finishes the game
J: Lemme play! Haha! 213 coins! I got 213!
A: I got the first 201 for you-
J: And I got the last 12, okay? I took it home! .. I'm a golden god, and you're a troll named Rod.
Amir starts beefing
J: Sorry, Rod, but it's true!
A: NO!
J: Unfortunately, you are a troll named Rod, and that is your name. And I'd know that because I got 213 coins on my first try, didn't I Rod?
Streeter walks in the room
Streeter: Hey, Jake and Amir. You guys didn't come to the all-hands meeting and now Paul wants to see you.
J: You mean Jake and Rod?
Streeter: Yeah. Are you making him cry?
A: How can I not cry? I'm a troll and worst part of all.. My name's ROD!
Jake cracks up
Jake, talking to Streeter: Rod, dude, Rod! I came up with that shit.
cuts to Paul's office
Paul: I think you guys now why I'm here. I heard you got 200 coins in Tiny Wings.
J: It's true, I can, not Rod.
A: Nooooo.
Paul: Quiet, Rod.
J: Yeah, shut up, Rod!
Paul: Shut the fuck up, Rod!
J: Yeah, Rod, who even invited you in here to talk?
Paul: Jesus, Rod, just keep your mouth shut for once.
J: Get out of here, Rod!
Paul: Who is this Rod guy?
J: I don't even know! His name's Rod!
Paul: Did you bring Rod in here?
J: He follows me around!
Paul: I'm too busy for Rod's bullshit.
J: So am I, sir!