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Tattoo

Episode ID: 6

Air date: 2007-06-05

Video: Link

Scribe: u/wiki

[Jake is sitting at the table in Ricky's office.]

AMIR: (entering from the side and sitting down in a chair next to Jake) Ughhhhh...

JAKE: (laughs) What's going on?

AMIR: I don't know how people do it.

JAKE: Yeah.

AMIR: No, you don't know what I meant. I meant, I don't know how people get tattoos.

JAKE: Man. What time do we have that meeting? It's like, 4? Or 2?

AMIR: Just, forget about the meeting, how-- When you got your tattoo, did it hurt you? Who else has a tattoo in the office? Now that I'm inked up.

JAKE: I don't really...

AMIR: Now that I have ink.

JAKE: Do you know, just like, when--

AMIR: You're treating me so different now that you know that I have a tattoo.

JAKE: I'm really trying not to.

AMIR: It's embarrassing telling you this shit because I don't-- I don't want--

JAKE: You don't- you don't have to.

JAKE: What is it of?

AMIR: I dunno, it's a tattoo.

AMIR: Okay, what is this? (Doodles a sort of backwards Greek letter Alpha on the whiteboard.) What is that of? That's not of anything, but it's still a tattoo.

JAKE: That looks like a fish or something. Is that what you got?

AMIR: Mine's a bear. Okay?

JAKE: A bear? Where is it? Where did you--?

AMIR: I dunno, in the woods or something.

(Jake laughs.)

JAKE: When you get a tattoo, you get it of something and in a specific spot. So, it's of a bear, you said, and where is it?

AMIR: Let's get-- let's go to a fucking bar.

AMIR: I haven't felt this interrogated-- (Jake lifts up Amir's sleeve) get-

AMIR: It's not on my shoulder or anything, it's just like on my.. area. What does it matter?

JAKE: What area?

AMIR: What does it matter where it is?

JAKE: Let me see it! (He reaches over, and Amir slaps his hand away.)

(Amir quickly displays his stomach area.)

JAKE: Is that a dick.. on your... stomach?--

AMIR: Is that a dick? No, it's a cannon. Leave me alone, I-- it's- it's getting sore! (pushing Jake's hands away as he tries to pull Amir's shirt up.)

JAKE: (reaching over to lift of Amir's shirt) Let me fucking see that!

AMIR: Get off of me, man.

(Jake wrestles Amir to the ground and lifts up his shirt to see the tattoo.)

AMIR: (on the ground, with his shirt pulled up, revealing a (Sharpie-drawn) tattoo of a penis with GAY written below it) Get off of me! What does it matter what it is?

JAKE: It says GAY'!

AMIR: (getting up) Those are my initials!

AMIR: Next one's gonna be like an eagle.

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