[Jake, after contemplating it for a while, unravels his scarf to reveal chin strap beard]
Amir: Whoah, nice chin strap beard.
Jake: Whoah, I can still get with girls. That's not the issue.
Amir: Why wear something that people can only compliment sarcastically?
Jake: I missed a spot, I missed one spot, so I said 'fuck it, I'll go with a chinner'
Amir: A chinner?
Jake: Winner Winner Chicken Chinner, yeah! Any questions?
Amir: Why did you do it?
Jake: Not a question.
Amir: Yeah it is.
Jake: Here's a science fact: Chicks dig scars. Or was Ice Cube at the 'Are We There Yet' cast crew after-party sponsored by Voss Water not stylin'?
Amir: Do chicks dig chin strap beards?
Jake: Does it matter? 'Cause I can shave it off. Also, it was a joke! I build up a defensive wall so thick you can't get through it with dynamite. How's that for insecure?
Amir: I respect you so much but sometimes you make me really sad for you.
Jake: A chin strap for this thin chap make the fat booty go clap. I made out with my nephew. At a house party.
Amir: Sorry, what?
Jake: I get invited to house parties, is what I'm saying.
Amir: You kissed-You have a, wait- You have a nephew?
Jake: He's a little twerp. Him and his friends beat the shit out of me and pissed on my jeans.
Amir: What, because of your beard?
Jake: Chin strap. No. I crashed their party and I was j-
Amir: So you weren't invited?
Jake: To their house party? No.
Amir: You said you get invited to house parties.
Jake: Not that one! I get invited to other house parties. I wasn't invited to this one. I get invited to other house parties, ok? Anyway I show up, I'm jackin' all the poon, they come up to me and they're like 'uh uh dude, you weren't invited, and we're 16'
Amir: And then you made out with him?
Jake: A little bit, yeah! And I obviously forgot to mention that I was
Robotripping.
Amir: Robotripping?
Jake: It's called you polish off a bottle of Robitussin, you wash it down with two pumps of capri sun. I would eat dog shit if Bradley Cooper did it in Limitless.
[Enter Murphy]
Murphy: Hey Jake, can I borrow your copy of Limitless?
Jake: Dude, I'm shaving it.
Murphy: What are you talking about?
Jake: This chin strap, it's obviously a goof, I'm shaving it as we squeak.
Murphy: I don't know man, I think it looks pretty cool.
Jake: So do I. It does make me look quite 'strapping'
Murphy: Haha, uh, I was joking. It sucks.
Jake: Dude, I was joking too. Haha. Tell me what to think. Honestly, because I'll pull the hair out right now if you say the word.
Pat Cassels: Jesus, Jake, why are you insecure?
Amir: He's not, ok, it's called Robotripping! Have you ever done it? No, probably not because you're too scared to even eat dog shit!
Murphy: Are you crying?
Jake: Dude, he for real! I made out with my nephew.
Amir: He did. At a house party.
Jake: House party. Tell them where it was, dude.
Amir: He kissed him at a house party.
Murphy: You're both crying so much!
Jake: We're beefing.
Amir: We're beefing.
Jake: We're beefing.
Amir: We're beefing.
Jake: We beef.