[Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks.]
JAKE: God, I have so much work.
AMIR: Who has two thumbs, and doesn't give a shit? That guy, you, specifically. (pointing at Jake with his thumbs.)
JAKE: Got it. That's not how that works, though, so please be quiet for a little bit?
AMIR: (loudly, flipping his lips up and down with his finger) SOOOOORYYYYYY--
JAKE: That's worse, shut the fuck up!
(Pat walks by, looks over at Amir's desk, and then back to Jake.)
PAT: Jake, who are you talking to?
JAKE: It's Amir, he's annoying me.
PAT: (sighs) You know, it was funny when you first got here; now it's just weird.
JAKE: What are you talking about?
PAT: Jake, Amir Blumenfeld died the day before you were hired. (The camera cuts back to Amir, who is smiling.) There's nobody there! (gesturing at Amir's desk)
JAKE: Amir?
(The camera cuts to Amir's desk, now empty. Suspenseful music starts to play.)
JAKE: Pat?!
(The camera cuts to Jake's side of the desk, showing Pat gone as well.)
PAT: (getting up from the floor) Yeah, sorry; just dropped my pen. Ah, you're nuts though. Get your shit together. I'm going home. (Walks off.)
AMIR: (now visible) That was weirddddd.
JAKE: You're not real; you're not really here.
AMIR: (smiling) I'm very real.
JAKE: You're dead.
AMIR: I'm your best friend.
JAKE: (getting up) Ok I'm gonna go... (runs away from his desk, Amir's desk shown empty in the shot.)
(Jake is running though the hallway when Amir runs on and tackles him.)
JAKE: (falling to the floor alone) AHH!
JAKE: (being dragged by Amir) Gah DaaHHHHH!! (Amir's creepy smiling face is shown in a closeup shot.)
JAKE: (being dragged by nothing) Help me Sarah!! SARAAAHHHH!!!
SARAH: (working at her desk, lifts up one headphone) Shh.
(Dramatic thriller music starts playing.)
JAKE: (sitting up, Amir coming behind him, about to bite his shoulder) God get off of me!!! (Amir bites flesh out of Jake's shoulder) AAHHHH!!!
(Jake stands up, blood spurting from his shoulder, still screaming in pain.)
(Jake wakes up at his desk with a start.)
JAKE: UGH!! Sarah... I just had.. the most AWESOME dream ever, Amir was dead-- (notices a bloody spot on the shoulder of his shirt) Ahhh, w-- Jesuuus.
SARAH: (spinning around in her chair to face Jake) Oh, yeah, Amir was like gnawing on you earlier?
AMIR: (sitting at his desk across form Jake) Sah-ree.
END.
OUTRO:
[Continuing the shoulder-eating scene.]
(Amir cackles, breaking character, and the camera zooms in on Jake's fake gory shoulder. Jake is laughing.)
AMIR: Alright, my teeth hurt!
CAMERAMAN: That's awesome.
JAKE: Did it look good? I had my eyes shut. (laughs)
THE INDIEMOGUL EDIT HAS A BONUS SCENE AT THE END. THIS IS IT:
[Jake and Amir are standing in front of their desks, talking to the camera.]
AMIR: Uh, we're Amir and Jake, from amirandjake.com, and--
JAKE: jakeandamir.com
AMIR: (to Jake) What're you--
JAKE: (to Amir) It's a free plug for the website; get it right.
AMIR: (to the camera) And then if you wanna know how this shirt (gesturing at Jake's shirt, the one that Jake was wearing when Amir bit off a chunk of Jake's shoulder) got made, then go to theirsite.com--
JAKE: No, if you wanna know how the build got made, go to IndieMogul.com and subscribe. That's.. what you're supposed to say--
AMIR: Ok also, go to Jake Hurwitz's,-- JakeHurwitz.com, that's his blog, it's so funny. (to Jake) Tell them about it, how- they-
JAKE: (laughing, breaking character) What are you doing?
AMIR: What? It's funny?
(Jake laughs. Amir joins in.)