Jake: Ok what do you want?
Amir: I need you to help me register to vote.
Jake: You want to vote?
Amir: Well, vote or die right?
Jake: Do you think that's a real law?
Amir: Well I don't want it to be, which is why I'm going to put no, and then... [ticks box on voting form]
Jake: [interrupting] That asks if you are a US citizen.
Amir: Ok, so, sheesh.
Amir: I do nay have a legal birthday, and I def do not have a [in high pitched voice] social security numbre comprende? so-e help-e on that-e.
Jake: I'm so mad I understood all of that.
Amir: [silly noise]
Amir: I mean honestly I'm leaning towards voting for both.
Jake: You can't do that.
Amir: Michael Both, the Libertarian candidate.
Jake: Is that, is that a real guy?
Amir: I don't know, I don't know what I just said.
Amir: [high pitched voice] I tink I am down to vote today.
Both: I think I'm down to vote today.
Jake: No you can't do that, election is November 4th.
Amir: Ok cool cool, [high pitched voice] tomonge it is!
Both: Tomorrow it is.
Jake: No, it's not.
Amir: [silly noise]
Amir: I don't know, I'm like conflicted because one guy says the other guy is bad and then the other guy says the other person is bad so, like I think I'm just going to vote for the last person I hear talk.
Jake: Maybe you shouldn't... [attempts to take pen from Amir]
Amir: [moving pen away from Jake] Hey! Don't touch my pen.
Amir: What's a blue state?
Jake: Democratic.
Amir: Ok, so red state is Nazi?
Jake: Republican.
Amir: Same thing.
Jake: I can't decide if you're being pointing or stupid.
Amir: Same thing.
Jake: Got it, stupid.
Jake: Obama is the democratic, black dude.
Amir: HE'S BLACK?!
Jake: [sighs] John McCain is the old white dude.
Amir: [interrupting] HE'S WHITE?! HE'S A REPUBLICAN?!
Jake: Don't talk like that.
Amir: SORRY?! Sorry.
Jake: Sorry, good.
Amir: [silly noise]
Jake: You done?
Jake: A lot of people are taking into account the VP candidate.
Amir: Yeah, VP is super importante.
Jake: Yes, which you know stands for...
Amir: Rainbow.
Jake: Vice President. Rainbow?
Amir: No, you said vice... I said vice President, what did you say?
Jake: Who's the last person you voted for?
Amir: Uh, Gerald Ford?
Jake: How old are you?
Amir: Oh this was in 2006.
Jake: Ok, so you're just not smart.
Amir: Yeah, he lost.
Jake: By a lot.
Amir: Yeah, by a lot.
Amir: Man, why can't you run for president? My decision would be so much easier.
Jake: Don't do that.
Jake: Ok, what's your address?
Amir: Well, like tonight I'm crashing at your place, so do I put that address or?
Jake: No to both.
Amir: Ok, the first one wasn't a question.
Amir: [free-styling] Cuz you pale in (Palin) comparison to Sarah. So, I dunno.
Jake: That was, that was actually clever. That was kind of clever, you should write that down.
Amir: Actually, I already just forgot it. Something about... Dick Cheney in your uh I dunno, forget it.
Amir: And done-zo so [tears up form] thank you for nothing.
Jake: What are you doing?
Amir: This is one vote that stays private!
Outtakes at the end:
Amir: HE'S A REPUBLICAN?!
Jake: [laughs] stop talking like that.
Both: SORRY?! [laughs]
Jake: Let's do that.