(Cheerful low music plays in the background throughout the whole sketch)
Amir: Would you rather eat a baby - or get eaten by a giant baby?
Jake: I'd rather eat a baby...
Amir: Really? Why?
Jake: I just want to avoid death.
Amir: Okay, I'd rather get eaten by a giant baby! Cuz' I'd love to see what a giant baby looks like. I think he looks like you! (tickles Jake)
Jake: (pushes him away) Stop it!
Amir: Would you rather share your studio apartment with a horder or a whore?
Jake: ...A whore.
Amir: What? Okay why, why? (lively)
Jake: Relax man... stop trying to be like overly bubbly.
Amir: I would chose a whore because; Horders, it's too much. It's like, I get it with the sinks and the dishes that's fine I'm a cool room-mate. But with the boxes and the envelopes it's starting to be like 'I don't wanna live in a post office.' (laughs and claps Jake's leg) What did you, what did you say? A whore?
Jake: Don't touch me, man..!
Amir: Would you rather make an obscene phonecall to your mother once a week or get a text message every time your father is feeling horny?
Jake: Text message.
Amir: Why is that? Okay why is that?
Jake: It's because I can ignore it.
Amir: Ooh, the phonecall you have to actively do, okay. I feel like all your answers sort of follow this logical path and I think I'm on board with you. I would rather... (gets innterupted by Jake)
Jake: Stop talking like you're on a radio show!
Amir: Would you rather blow up a cow with dynamite from a distance or wring a chicken's neck with your bare hands?
Jake: Cow.
Amir: Why is that?
Jake: Because I'd be far away, disconnected...
Amir: Yeahyeah... a little bit more removed - I'd rather blow up a cow from the distance because I have already wrung a chicken's neck.
Jake: Yes, you have...
Amir: I've done it to a chicken, a rooster...
Jake: You've had a couple of failed attempts of trying to blow up a cow... from a distance..
Amir: Yeah and uh.. the dynamite was not strong enough so.. if given the opportunity I would like to blow up a cow from a distance.
Jake: Yep.
Amir: Would you rather stand up when everybody sitting down or sit down when everybody is standing up? Think about that. What would you rather do? You're in a , okay you're in a board room, right? Everybody's sitting. You gotta stand. You're in a funeral. Everybody standing you gotta sit. Which one would you rather do?
Jake: Stand.
Amir: Hah! Stand when everyone's sitting? Why is that? (laughs)
Jake: I have no idea..
Amir: Yeah I'd rather sit when everyone' s standing because you know what, at the very least I'm comfortable. I'm the one who's getting comfortable - (Jake stands up and leaves) Oh, You're playing the game right now, you're standing when I'm sitting! You know what? Let's play along - I'll sit and you stand. He's gonna stand out of the room for a minute. And I'm gonna sit. He'll be back.