INTRO Amir - You're watching an all new episode of Ace.
Jake - Please don't.
Amir - And Jocelyn.
Jake - I said don't.
AMIR: Hello my fellow astronaut accountants. I've been under Jake's... uhh.... Ace's desk for the past three hours.
JAKE: Hey, is match.com down for anybody else? Cos I'm 99% sure an uggo fuggo just tried to look at my profile... and I gotta troll her.
Amir emerges from the desk.
AMIR: Boom! Oh... Hello Ace. It is I... Jocelyn.
JAKE: I have time for this.
AMIR: Well, if you got the time, then I got the shirt to show you.
The Ace Jocelyn theme tune plays while Amir shows the shirt at different angles.
AMIR: Who do you think would wear this shirt, Jake... - Ace?
JAKE: Called me Jake for a second there.
AMIR: I didn't, I said Ace! Who do you think would wear this shirt?
JAKE: Oh my god, me alone.
AMIR: No. Other people too.
JAKE: You're gonna edit this like I'm -
AMIR (voiceover Jake): Chill dude!
JAKE: - aren't you?
AMIR: The chillest.
A cartoon of a rocket flies from the bottom of the screen to the top. A rooster crows in the background.
AMIR: Thank you for wearing the shirt by the way, my friend.
JAKE: I'm not wearing the -
Scene changes to Jake lying on a couch, now wearing the new Ace Jocelyn t-shirt. His nose is bleeding.
JAKE: oh... dude, what the f-
AMIR (voiceover Jake): Chill dude!
AMIR: Awesome shirt, Ace. Where'd you get it?
JAKE: Did you change me?
AMIR: Bustedtees.com? That sounds like a pretty sick space site.
JAKE: You punched me in the face.
AMIR: With a great deal!
JAKE: No, with your fists. You knocked me out.
AMIR: With low prices.
JAKE: Dude, did-did-did you steal my phone?
AMIR: Ok, stop being a bitch and play along for half a second
JAKE: You stole my wallet and my phone, dude.
AMIR: The only thing that's a steal here are these low prices.
JAKE: Alright, that's it.
The camera falls to the ground. Jake starts punching Amir.
AMIR: Ow no! Ow! Stop hugging... me... Ace!
Star wipe to reveal Amir, holding a bloodied tissue to his nose.
JAKE: Hey Amir, I'm sorry.
AMIR: Jocelyn.
JAKE: Jocelyn, I'm sorry.
AMIR: Sorry, yeah. It's fine, my nose is just bleeding from the high altitude and low prices heh... ow... that hurts.
JAKE: Ok, I lost my cool, ok? Any way I can make it up to you?
Scene wipe to reveal Jake sitting on a couch with a script in front of him.
AMIR: Rolling!
JAKE: Oh my god, don't sound like you're crying all the time, Jesus.
AMIR: Just start!
JAKE: Houston, we have a problem! These shirts are too fat.
AMIR: With emotion!
JAKE: These shirts are so hot, they're practically on fire.
AMIR: Ok, great.
He approaches Jake with a lighter. Jake protests. A new scene appears with Jake's shirt half burned off of him. The scene is badly edited by Amir. (each dash represents a new piece of footage from the clip)
JAKE: You're - amazing. You're fu- amazing. And you know what else man? This shirt, it's - amazing. You know who's going to buy one of these? - Everybody. - You got that?
AMIR: I got that, Ace. I got that.
AMIR: Here we go... oh ah ah ah ah! Hmm... early. I'll start on that. Ok, 3... 2... 1... oh ah ah ah ah! DAMNIT! Ok, forget it.
The rocket cartoon flies from the bottom of the screen to the top. A rooster crows in the background.
THE END