Jake: You're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir: Now do it with some attitude!
Jake: Don't tickle me!
Jake: Hey, just got your Kickstarter email.
Amir: If you don't have something to say, don't say it, okay? Don't feel like you have to fill every silence with your stupid voice just because--
Jake: Okay, don't just repeat things that I say. It makes sense when I say them to you.
Amir: Then we agree...to disagree...about agreeing. Oh!
Jake: Kickstarter is meant for like meaningful projects, like albums or films.
Amir: I know.
Jake: You know that?
Amir: Yeah.
Jake: So you think the Amir Blumenfeld Foundation For Not Giving A Shit is a meaningful project?
Amir: It's..an album. And it's a film.
Jake: No, it's not. Do you really expect people to donate?
Amir: When you ask like that, definitely, okay? Besides, we give little bonuses to incentivize donations.
Jake: I do see that--five dollars and you get a pin that says I'm Cheap James, bitch.
Amir: If you're not cracking up right now, you've never seen the Chapel Show, okay? Like, that's it.
Jake: Yeah, I haven't. Ten dollars gets you a t-shirt which says I donated ten dollars to a fake charity and all I got was this lousy dick.
Amir: What else, man? You got notes, alright? So just say it. Don't do the like stop and go, herky-jerky thing--
Jake: Sure, twenty dollars you get to punch somebody in the chest.
Amir: That's trying to up-sell them, okay? To try to get them to donate fifty dollars.
Jake: Which if they do, you get to punch them in the back of the head.
Amir: Which hurts a lot less than punching them in the chest, watch--
Jake: No!
Amir: Sorry. Queen.
Jake: What?
Amir: Nothing.
Jake: Excuse me?
Amir: I didn't--
Jake: I heard you say something.
Amir: Yeah, I didn't say anything.
Jake: This says that if I donate a hundred dollars you get to personally deliver me a bitch taco. What's a bitch taco?
Amir: It's a taco with double the meat, double the shell, and if ya even think twice about eating it, I get to punch ya in the back of the head 'cause guess what?--
Jake: I'm being a bitch.
Amir: You're being a bitch, right.
Jake: Cool, you know what? It's people like you that ruin Kickstarter for real artists like me...and other people.
Amir: You're a real artist?
Jake: Good question. Check your email.
Amir: You're looking to self-publish a book of poetry n style.
Jake: Ya, a coffee table book about my two passions. (brushes dirt of shoulder) Oh!
Amir: Whoa, Streeter just donated money to my Kickstarter.
Streeter: Hey, no problem, buddy man. Hope it goes to something good.
Amir: (gasps) A hundred dollars. Wow, okay, ey, this is for you. (hands Streeter a taco)
Streeter: Ohhh! Look at this, man. Whoa, look at all that meat!
Amir: Yeahh.
Streeter: Oh man, I'm gonna think twice about eatin' this thing.
Jake: Streeter! No!
(Streeter arrests Amir's arms) Streeter: Ohhh! Purple nurple! (Murph comes up and punches Amir)
Murph: Nurple purple! Yeah!