INTRO
AMIR: (Singing The Pink Panther theme song)
JAKE: Just say our names!
AMIR: It's The Pink Panther theme!
(Amir is taking pictures of Jake with a disposable camera)
JAKE: (Rolls eyes) Hey can you...
(Amir pulls film out of camera)
JAKE: You have to develop film, you know? You're destroying it.
AMIR: (Unrolling film) Not that you care.
JAKE: You know what? I don't, because I don't want a scrapbook.
AMIR: (Takes film and wraps it around the book) Not a scrapbook, okay? A memory book.
JAKE: You've called it a scrapbook, like, fifteen times since you got here. Look at the cover. (Gestures towards the book)
AMIR: Ohhhhhh (Covers the 'Scrap' part of the "Scrapbook" title with his hand)
JAKE: That doesn't change what it says.
AMIR: Okay, sorry for tying to commemorate your three year, five month, nine week—
JAKE: A couple more months then.
AMIR: anniversary!
JAKE: (Shakes head) Let me see it.
(Amir takes film off of book and hands it to Jake)
JAKE: (Looking at book) Wow there are baby pictures in here—
AMIR: (Sarcasm) Ouuu
JAKE: of both of us somehow
AMIR: (Sarcasm) Big whoop.
JAKE: It is a big whoop, it's a huge whoop; you made us slow dancing.
AMIR: Photoshop.
JAKE: Jesus, both of our families at Disney Land together? Our dads are kissing! Why would you do that?
AMIR: It's funny.
JAKE: You in high school with Dane Cook.
(Real picture of Amir and Dane Cook is shown in the scrapbook)
AMIR: (Making Su-Fi hand sign) The Dane Train! ((Puts hand down) Haha (Brings hand up) Su-fi.
JAKE: Why would you even want to include this in my scrapbook?
AMIR: Alright, keep flipping and you'll find yourself a chapter two: The Noticed Unoticed.
JAKE: Don't narrate it, please.
AMIR: Basically, me in the background of all your important life events: your birth, your Bar Mitzvah, your Quinceañera.
JAKE: (Flipping though scrapbook) Didn't have a Quinceañera—Oh (Sees Quinceañera picture) I did.
AMIR: Yeah.
JAKE: Very nice.
AMIR: That's at Chili's too.
JAKE: In an airport.
AMIR: Yeah, LaGuardia.
JAKE: Got it.
AMIR: Look at that nice pink dress.
JAKE: Hey, Man, bad news.
AMIR: What?
JAKE: New rule: if I flip this next page, you're a nerd.
AMIR: (Laughs nervously) ...What?
JAKE: Yeah, I just have to flip this next page and you're a nerd.
AMIR: So don't do it. (More nervous laughter)
JAKE: But I really wanna see the other pictures.
AMIR: (Panic) I-k-k-k-k-know, but it's not worth it.
JAKE: It's worth it to me.
AMIR: No! (Throws film cap at Jake and misses) Hey!
JAKE: Hey, hey, hey (About to flip page)
AMIR: N-N-N-N-N-NO, NO!
JAKE: (Flips page fully) Oh god! You're a nerd now!
AMIR: (Facepalming) NO!
JAKE: (Flipping page again) Sorry that you're not—(Sees next page and rolls eyes) You Photoshopped a vagina onto yourself and you're masturbating?
AMIR: (Takes palm off face) Is that a question or?
JAKE: (Slams down scrapbook between their desks)
AMIR: So you're just done?
JAKE: I'm done!
THE END
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1lYb0pTL1M