INTRO Amir - (holding his nose) Operator. How can I direct your call?
Jake - Just do the intro
Amir - I'm sorry, wrong number.
AMIR: Hey Jake, if you wanted to hang out tonight -
JAKE: I don't.
AMIR: Well if you did, I can't cos I'm taking a rock climbing class.
JAKE: Ok.
AMIR: But, if you wanna hang out tomorrow -
JAKE: I don't.
AMIR: I can't either.
JAKE: I didn't say I couldn't, I said I don't want to.
AMIR: Cos I'm taking a cruise around Manhattan, so....
JAKE: Real quick, you gotta stop winking at me, alright?
AMIR: We could do it Thursdayyyyy... yeahh right! Haha! Unless you actually wanted to take the ice sculpting
class with me which should be fine cos that's sort of a two person thing...
JAKE: Why are you signing up for all these classes?
AMIR: Cos I love to learn, I love to yearn and most of all I love to make money.
JAKE: Really thought that third thing was going to rhyme.
AMIR: Yeah so did I. Tried to, failed, no big deal. It's not like you noticed.
JAKE: I did notice, I called you out on it. How much money have you spent on these "deals"?
AMIR: Spent or saved?
JAKE: Spent.
AMIR: 21,000 dollars.
JAKE: Oh my god, give me your credit card.
AMIR: But I've saved 40,000 which means I've made -
JAKE: No it doesn't.
AMIR: - 100,000.
JAKE: Bad math. Bad logic. Just cos you're saving money doesn't mean you're making money.
AMIR: Ok, this is an assault on my character.
JAKE: Yes.
AMIR: You're just jealous that you haven't signed up for dailydizzydinkydeals.com. With deals this dinky, dizzy,
deal with ezeze wit de with deals this dizzy and dinky you'll find out... UH I forgot the slogan!
JAKE: Not your fault, man, that's a really hard slogan to remember.
AMIR: No, it is my fault, I thought of the slogan. It's my cousin's site.
JAKE: Then it is your fault, you're right.
AMIR: With deal... ok with dinky deals this daily, no with daily deals di-is oh fu-! Ah! It's like... no, it's once you
say it once you always remember it, ok? It's like a lockbox like that.
JAKE: You must've said it once.
AMIR: Yeah I know, and I freakin' lost the lockbox too, so the metaphor doesn't hold. Don't say that the slogans
bad.
JAKE: Ok, well chill out man, you're wasting a lot of money.
AMIR: Says the guy who dropped out of college!
JAKE: Hey, c'mon...
AMIR: Cary!
JAKE: What are you doing?
AMIR: What? I said -
JAKE: I opened up. I confided in you.
AMIR: I was mad.
JAKE: And yeah. You're using it against me.
AMIR: I won't do that.
JAKE: How's it make me feel?
AMIR: I -
JAKE: Bad.
AMIR: Yeah.
JAKE: Like I don't want to tell you things.
AMIR: Ok then, I won't say it anymore.
JAKE: Alright, well. Don't like get annoyed at me like I should stop lecturing you like you're - Are you still buying
stuff?
AMIR: You don't get it man, ok? These deals are so dinky and daily that every... ok... every daily dinky deal this
dis-
JAKE: You're not gonna remember the slogan, just don't try it.
AMIR: How about this, ok? With daily deals this dinky you'll drop out of college.
JAKE: Just drop it!
AMIR: Yeah you dropped it. You dropped out. Dropped out of school.
Jake gets up and walks away.
AMIR: Come on man, come back. Hey! I was- Don't. Thursday: me, you, ice sculpting. Don't drop out of this
class too man!