NTRO Amir and Jake - Hey, you're watching Jake--
Jake - and Amir.
Amir - and Amir.
Jake - All right.
Amir - Perfect.
(Sarah and Pat are sat on a couch)
PAT: Guess who I saw in Starbucks this morning.
SARAH: Who?
PAT and SARAH: Chris Nowth.(?)
PAT: You saw him too!
SARAH: No, you just keep talking about this.
(Amir enters)
AMIR: Hey.
SARAH: Hey!
AMIR: Sorry, uh, got to go take a shit.
PAT: Come on.
AMIR: But Jake's gift hath arrived. So whenever you guys get a chance, pay the peeper! (chuckles)
SARAH: How much do we owe you?
AMIR: Huh?
PAT: For the gift. How much do we owe you?
AMIR: Well, uh, like I said, I ended up going for the deluxe package--
PAT: You never said that.
AMIR: --So uh--
PAT: You never SAID THAT!
AMIR: That changed the price by just a hair. So uh.
SARAH: What the deluxe package?
AMIR: Yeah! Well you know how I was deciding between the headphone thing and the deluxe package?
PAT: No.
AMIR: Yeah, well, OK, sorry, I really, uhh, I got to go take a shit. But I was deciding between the headphones and the deluxe package and I ended up saying 'eff it, you only turn 26 once, I went balls to the wall and I got the deluxe package, so that's--
SARAH: Amir, you told us you were just going to get him headphones.
AMIR: Umm, sorry, like...whaaa--
PAT: Is that a sincere apology?
AMIR: I don't kn--Yeah. It is. Sorry, I'm like, ugh, really backed up and loopy right now. So I'm like sort of saying one thing but meaning another. Yeah, it was sincere. What's your excuse for being a D-bag though?
SARAH: OK, it's fine. How much do we owe you?
AMIR: Well. Like I said, since I ended up getting the deluxe package--
SARAH: Stop saying deluxe package.
AMIR: --The sum ended up falling somewhere in the neighborhood of like, god, I want to say like fourteen six a person.
SARAH: Fourteen six?
AMIR: Yeah, fourteen thousand six hundred dollars, but now I really have to go because I'm legit about to diarrhea my jeans.
SARAH: OK, Amir, we're not paying you $14,000!
PAT: I was not even on board for the headphones.
AMIR: Well, it's an all inclusive thing, OK? It's a deluxe package, that's the MacBook Air, the wine, you know, two days in the ring with a former pro, plus the plane tickets to España, so, it's a little bit much, but like, when he gets back we're going to have to divide up the receipts, see how much the food and wine cost, because that was not included. (chuckles) Neither was the boxing thing, actually.
PAT: So it's not all inclusive!
AMIR: No man, it's not all inclusive, but I think--
(Jake enters)
AMIR: AH!
JAKE: Hey guys, what's going on?
AMIR: Jake. What's up, man? What were we talking about? Sports?
SARAH: Jake, Amir bought you this really expensive birthday present and --
JAKE: Come on, man.
SARAH: --now he's--
JAKE: Did you guy seriously get me the deluxe package??
AMIR: It was going to be a surprise! (Amir and Jake start hopping up and down) Yeah!
(Jake hugs Amir)
JAKE: That is me and Reddick Bowe in the boxing ring, for two days! (give amir a give peck on the cheek) Woo!
SARAH: Umm, listen Jake--
JAKE: You guys, can I just let you in on a little secret? Real fast. I honestly thought I heard you say you were getting me headphones and I ran to the bathroom and I cried my eyes out. I just wept openly because I was that pissed, I was like 'these chumps call themselves my friends and they're getting me a lame-ass birthday gift?'--
AMIR: No way.
JAKE: --no computer, no wine, no España, and now here we are, I feel like an ass because you guys are obviously my best friends!
PAT: So you cry when you don't get the gift that you want?
JAKE: Yeah, for like a couple of minutes!
AMIR: Who doesn't?
JAKE: But we're fine now because I got what I want. (high fives Amir) What smells like shit?
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XufLHF09MbM