INTRO
J: Hey! You're watching Ja- can you stop taking pictures of my jeans?
A: Woah, pervert alert!
Amir: sits down Ow!
Jake: Hey, um, dude. So my aunt got your 'stay sick' card.. I don't know how you even had that made.
Amir: unravels scroll Top Ten cars to hot box by Amir Valerie Blumenfeld. Number Ten: It don't matter the car, the size, or the space, 'cause I'm filling that shit with the illest dank stank, you won't even be able to tell the difference between the stick shift and your stiff dick.
Jake: Right, so my aunt is like very sick.
Amir: Okay Nine: Honda Civic hatchback, '84 two doors.
Jake: I don't know how you got her address, or even knew that she had a cold.
Amir: Numero Eight: Gimme yo truck, a bus, a car, or a bike, don't matter the whip when I ghost ride this hike... BLAZE, I'm high.
Jake: How do you hot box a bike?
Amir: Seventh Heaven: Kia Sorento, fire engine red, real cherry.
Jake: That's such a random car..
Amir: Number Six: Pick up chicks in whatever my twix shaped dick can do arithmetic in.. Translation, who gives a fudge? The car is meaningless when you're getting riproaringly blazed, might as well be a kite 'cause I'm that high. I'm stoned.
Jake: Right, if the car is meaningless then how are there five more cars?
Amir: Number five: mitsubishi galant, yellow with black slim for the man getting mad trim.
Jake: Black slim?!
Amir: Roll up to a joint and roll up a joint. Let's clam bake this baked clam on a glazed ham.
Four: It.. don't..
Jake: Matter right? As long as you're smoking that sticky ass gaunge in a sticky ass bong then nothing can go wrong, the car doesn't mean anything.
Amir makes odd hand movement and serious face
Jake: Weed.
Amir: Exactomundo! Though it should be a '99 Volvo V70, cherry green, lease to own. Number three is a toyota yaris. Lemon yellow, like a lemon cello, a mellow cello for this mellow fellow. Two is a Nissan quest and one don't matter, cause guess what? whispers Yeah...
Jake: Stop writing letters to my aunt.
Amir: Got herb?!