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Favor

Episode ID: 446

Air date: 2011-06-28

Video: Link

Scribe: u/Fno1

[INTRO]

Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.

Amir: In space.

Jake: On a computer.

Amir: On a computer in space.

[Amir is holding two plastic dinosaurs and making them kiss]

Jake: Hey, I gotta run to a meeting -- saw that.

Amir: No.

Jake: Yes. Pick up my lunch downstairs for me, okay? I'll owe you one.

Amir: You'll owe me a big one.

Jake: Fine. I'll owe you a big one.

Amir: And not just a favor, either.

Jake: Yes. Just a favor.

Amir: No. No, we'll see about that, okay. You might be singing a different tune when I--

Jake: [interrupting] I'm just going to get someone else to do it.

Amir: Good. Good, good, good. That'll actually give me some extra time to think about what ye shall owe me.

Jake: Me shall not owe ye anything. I'm doing it myself.

Amir: [ignoring Jake] Pick up my lunch every day for a month... doggie style. That's in your mouth.

Jake: Wow. You shouldn't have picked a favor so similar to mine.

Amir: Right?

Jake: Which pretty much illustrates how unfair your favor is

Amir: Every day for a year now! Missionary style. That's also in your mouth.

Jake: Same as doggie style?

Amir: Same exact same.

Jake: Which was incorrect, by the way.

Amir: Same incorrect same, then--

Jake: [interrupting] Okay, I'm going to go to the meeting. Don't get my lunch. Okay?

[Jake is attending a meeting in a conference room]

Streeter: Great new, guys: Q3 in the books -- hit our numbers, thanks in no small part to Chelsea, who gave that fiery passionate speech at the investors meeting -- really lit a fire under everybody's butt, so a round of applause for Chelsea. Thank you.

[everyone clapping -- Amir is looking into the meeting from behind the glass doors]

Streeter: ...Uh, Q4, though, is, um, who-- why-- what is he doing?

Jake: Sorry. I'll ask him to leave.

[Amir smashes a bowl of noodles against the glass and holds up a sign with Lunch written backwards]

Streeter: Why is that written backwards? Why is it backwards?

Jake: He thinks the glass is a mirror.

Amir: It's a mirror!

Jake: It's not!

Amir: Yeah, it is. And by the way, year one starts tomorrow, Hurwitz, so get your getting lunch shoes ready.

Streeter: Can you clean the door please?

Amir: Yeah, I'll clean it -- but first you gotta owe me a big one.

Streeter: Fine.

Amir: You gotta clean the door every day for a year.

Jake: Stop!

Amir: Doggie style, too! That's with my mouth.

[FALSE END]

[Amir licking the food off the glass as a dog would]

[END]

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