[INTRO]
Jake: You're
Amir: watching
Jake: Jake
[PAUSE]
Jake: That was your cue!
Amir: I know!
Karen: So, Community Service Day is just two months away--
Amir: [interrupting] Great! So, we'll see you in a month, like... what?
Karen: Well... uh, we still haven't firmed up any locations.
Amir: I told you three months ago I was on it.
Karen: I know, but the last time I emailed you for a status update, you sent me a video of a monkey who smells his hand and faints.
Amir: Yeah. That's because he farted in it.
Mark: [laughing]
Amir: That's funny to you?!
Mark: Isn't it supposed to be?
Amir: Am I excused, like...?
Jake: We haven't gotten anywhere yet.
Karen: Last time we spoke, you said an elephant ride was doable, as a carnival for young kids.
Amir: Right. And I stand by that.
Mark: My brother-in-law and I have devised a way to steal large animals from circuses and zoos. If you're really certain about this, I can get you an elephant.
Amir: Dead or alive?
Jake: Alive! Alive, right? Don't do it. But if you do: Alive.
Mark: I-I-I-I have to make a call. I'm not sure if I can make this alive thing happen.
Karen: What about the mural?
Amir: What ABOUT the mural, Kare?
Jake: Will you please not snap at Karen?
Karen: You said you had been able to procure--
Amir: [interrupting] Yeah, a 200 foot by 10 foot concrete wall -- blank as the night -- ready to be painted by the imaginative fingers of today's youth.
Karen: And?
Amir: And... I was able to... get one twice as big.
Karen: [gasping in surprise]
Amir: So... double the kids... on that... Karen.
Karen: They are going to be so happy!
Jake: He just winked at me, but even if he didn't, I doubt he could have gotten a wall like that.
Amir: NARC!
Karen: Well, uh... what about snacks? People are going to be hungry.
Mark: How does two tons of wet elephant meat sound?
Jake: It doesn't sound good, Mark.
Mark: I don't want to say how or why, but I have recently come into a surplus of elephant meat.
Jake: We know how.
Mark: I certainly can't eat all of it -- trust me on that!
Amir: What about music, okay? Some phat beats, dope rhymes, things like--
Jake: [interrupting] I'll take care of the music.
Amir: I can freestyle for about two and half hours straight. Make your face leak underneath... all that stuff--
Jake: [interrupting] You couldn't freestyle for like ten seconds just now--
Amir: [interrupting] I'm going to get a CD! A frickin' mix cassette tape -- how does that sound for a freestyle?
Jake: Those sound like two different things! I'll get a DJ, okay?
Mark: Alright. Can we go?
Amir: You can go... to jail! For killing and de-tusking an elephant. I mean, how long are we going to stand idly by--
Mark: [interrupting and getting out of his chair to approach Amir] I didn't touch a single tusk! [strangling Amir] Not one tusk!
Jake: Hey!
Amir: Okay, Karen...?
Jake: Come on, Mark!
Amir: Karen! I have your wall! I have your wall, Karen!
Jake: Karen! Karen! Karen!
Karen: No! No!
[END]