Jake and Amir Oscar Pool
Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and-
Amir: Cut!
Jake: What?
Amir: I cut myself so I'm yelling it!
Jake: Oh
Amir: Filling out your Oscar pool huh? Well my picks are so hot, it's Jacuzzi.
Jake: I heard you rehearsing that line for a full five minutes outside the door.
Amir: No. Hey, here's a crazy, sexy, fun idea! Let's rob the organiser of this pool huh? Just gank that envelope filled with the cash by-ins and sprint due-north right to New Jersey-
Jake: I'm the organiser.
Amir: In german accent I'm ze organizer. What are you, friggin Arnold Schwarzenegger? *attacks Jake Jake: Hey!
Amir: Oh, Pat said you do a good 'the fighter' impression.
Jake: In accent I'm the one fighting here, not you, not you and not you.
Amir: Okay, Pat was wrong.
Jake: Well, that was it.
Amir: Well, it blew. Colin Firth, more like Colin lasht, I think he's the firsht pershon with a shpeech impediment to win the Oshcar.
Jake: You're saying so many dumb things at once, it's crazy.
Amir: My picks are so hot, it's Jacuzzi.
Jake: You know you said that already.
Amir: Not the exact same way okay, so I took a risk, I said it again. Big whoop.
Jake: You actually did say it the exact same way.
Amir: What would you know about risk man? You've been oohing and aahing about Sarah over the past three years but you don't have the huevos rancheros to ask her out do ya? You don't have the balls!
Jake: In accent I want Dickie and I want you Charlie.
Amir: It's fine, okay, I said it was fine.
Jake: You didn't say it was fine, you said it was shitty so I did it again.
Amir: My picks are so hot, it's Jacuzzi.
Jake: Hey, man alright it's funny just please don't say it anymore. Fine you do it, you're so good, you do it.
Amir: In accent I'm the one fighting here, not you, not you and not you.
Jake: Hah! Bull Spit, that was terrible. Take the hand... In accent I'm the one fighting here, not you, not you and not you-
Amir: I was doing it with the hand motion if you think it's-
Jake: Alright, fine. How about this for a fighter impression, I punch you in the head!
Amir: Hey here's an idea, let's share our answers and then we can split the winnings.
Jake: That's not something you should want to happen.
Amir: Then we can get something together like a booze cruise.
Jake: Okay, why don't you just go on a booze cruise by yourself.
Amir: Because it's a frickin' cock meat convention, it's just dudes. Hey can you do me a favour and read this e-mail from my dad and tell me if there's one thing that you can think of that he doesn't call me out on.
Jake: Wow, long e-mail. Can you hold your phone steady?
Amir: I'm trying to!
Jake: You're scrolling too fast. Alright, this is a small thing to bring up I know but I've never seen your phone with more than 8% battery.
Amir: Yeah, usually I only charge it for like 10 minutes a day.
Jake: That's not enough.
Amir: Well, what I need is like a power grid. You just put the phone on there over night and forget it.
Jake: How do you think normal chargers work?
Amir: Will you take me to a sky mall if I pay you?
Jake: Done! You?
Amir: Almost! You?
Jake: You're not almost done, you haven't circled one thing but you know what it doesn't matter cause I'm gonna win, not you, not you and not you.
Amir: Give it up!
Jake: Alright, fuck you man! Have you seen the movie? Have you even seen it?! Because I was at my cousin's bachelorette party right and I was doing the impression non-stop pretty much and everybody there was drunk yeah but they told me it was deec.
Jake: I need Dickie and I need you Okeef.
Pat: Yeah, it's pretty good.
Jake: Fuck pretty good man! Last week you told me it was great!
Pat: Yeah it's great I'm sorry.
Jake: You should have said that the first time man.
Amir: It does seem less genuine now that you said it after he yelled at you.