Amir: Interior, Office, Day. The year is 2011.
Jake: Outta time.
Amir: Okay
Amir: (in a weird voice) Hey.
Jake: I don't like it.
Amir: I haven't even told you what it is yet!
Jake: Is it the voice?
Amir: Barely, it's just a subtle change. I'm surprised you even realised it.
Jake: It's not.
Amir: Subtle but much better.
Jake: It's neither. God, you look really weird when you talk like that, too.
Amir: What are you trying--, this is my--, this is how I talk. This is natural for me, okay? I've been trying to talk like a high-pitched fool for the last four years.
Jake: That's not natural. (In voice:) You make this face, how is this is a natural thing?
Pat: Whoa, Jake, cool voice!
Jake: Thanks.
Amir: No!
Jake: Yeah! Yes. A million times yes, okay? This is mine now.
Amir: I'm begging you not to do this.
Jake: Beg all you want, ok? You don't get a voice this chill and just give it up.
Amir: This has gone from being the best day of my life to the second-worst, easily.
Jake: Don't be a baby, dude. You're acting like I'm telling you to stop doing the voice. We can both do it.
Amir: Then people are gonna think I stole it from you!
Jake: Let them think what they want!
Amir: No! You're not-- are you really not even gonna clarify that--
Jake: I'm not gonna get down there like a fucking dog--
Amir: --not a dog!--
Jake: Yes, like a dog!
Amir: Not a dog!
Jake: Not gonna get down in the ground like a goddamn puppy to clarify for people, alright? Let them think that you stole it. It's honestly better for me.
Amir: Yeah, I--. I've never s--. You're being so mean right now. If you're gonna steal it and not clarify that you stole it from me when people accuse you of stealing it, at least admit that you're being mean right now.
Jake: Listen man, I know. I'll be the first to admit it's a dick move.
Amir: Yeah, I was the first to admit it.
Jake: No, it's a dick move. I'm well aware of that.
Amir: I--. Yeah, well.
Jake: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, But what would you do in my position, if you had a voice this chill?
Amir: I would keep the voice
Jake: Obviously.
Amir: But I would clarify that if people thought that you stole it--
Jake: No. No. You're saying that because that's what you want. Not 'cause that's what you'd do in my position. Ok? You gotta learn how to empathize man.
Amir: (crying)
Jake: Don't, don't. Come on, that's not even crying.
Amir: What are you--
Jake: What? Yeah, I can lose the voice and then pick it back up. Doesn't mean shit.
Amir: You're not even doing it right.
Jake: Oh, I'm doing it right because this is my voice and you stole it from me. Ok? My voice rules, your voice drools, how's that for fair?
Pat: Jake, I was being sarcastic. It's not a cool voice.
Jake: Uhm, no slit bitch. I know, I like my regular voice just fine, thank you.
Amir: So, I can keep--
Jake: I reserve the right to take it back, okay? Pending a second opinion. No offense, Pat, but you're a little bit of bitch, too.