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Elevators (BACARDI)

Episode ID: 402

Air date: 2011-02-09

Video: Link

Scribe: u/seeegma

INTRO:

(The Jake Amir's Get Together Project Animation plays)

AMIR: Jake and Amir's Get Together Project!

[Amir sits down at his desk across from Jake.)

AMIR: Eughh. Elevators, man, right? (laughs)

JAKE: I told you not to talk to me for the rest of the day.

AMIR: I was just in an elevator, ok, and nobody was looking at anyone. It was really uncomfortable!

JAKE: Do you still do that thing where you enter the elevator backwards?--

AMIR: Yeah! You know, so I'm facing the RIGHT way in case of emergency; it's just a safety precaution.

JAKE: Alright well people don't wanna look at each other in elevators; it's sort of uncomfortable.

AMIR: So I try to break the silence; you know, add a little warmth and comradery to this otherwise awkward elevator ride. You n- wanna know what I said?

JAKE: Something about the weather?

AMIR: No, that's boring. Ok I wanted to do something that they would REMEMBER me by. So I asked them, straight up, if you had to choose, which one would you rather have: eight legs, or two really long, eight-foot arms.

JAKE: (gesturing out noodley arms) Like, telescopic, noodley arms?

AMIR: Yeah, just like giant noodles for arms.

JAKE: Giant noodle arms.

AMIR: Yeah.

JAKE: Or what was the other one? Eight legs?

AMIR: Eight legs like a spider.

JAKE: Wow. Yeah.. that's stupid.

AMIR: Exactly, right? Difficult question; I don't even know which one--

JAKE: I said stupid.

AMIR: Yeah, well it is very difficult. Which one would you rather have?

JAKE: Look, I said it was a stupid question, not in intelligent question; you're taking what I'm saying and turning it around--

AMIR: Eight legs. Hm. I knew you'd take their side.

JAKE: (sighs.) How was the reaction?

AMIR: Muted. Mm-hmm. Lotta noise; lotta noise.

JAKE: Do you know what muted means?

AMIR: Yes. Well, now I do.

(Jake smiles gestures with his hand as if saying what are you talking about?)

AMIR: What is with elevators, ok why is it so uncomfortable in there? Why is nobody allowed to talk to anybody? (in a stand up comedy cadence) What is it, like a library in there? I'm gonna check out a book, in an elevator?

JAKE: You trying to do a stand up act, or something?

AMIR: (to the camera) HOW can we break the ice.. in elevators, ok? We wanna know! ...So submit your answers right here! (pointing down)

OUTRO:

(The Jake Amir's Get Together Project Animation plays)

AMIR: People! Let's get closer!

JAKE: Join our Get Together Project at Facebook.com/BACARDI

AMIR: So why'd you choose legs, man? I was like positive you were an arm guy.

JAKE: AhhI dunno.

AMIR: Think about it, ok? I don't wanna just talk to hear the sound of my own voice, I want you to put something back--

JAKE: That's what you usually do anyway.

AMIR: How dare you accuse me of talking on and on and on, with no seeming reason or rhyme to where I'm going, or how--

JAKE: You see what you're doing now?

END.

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