INTRO -
Amir: Hey you're watching ...
Jake: Where are you going?
Amir: I'm taking a break, I'm gonna do the rest of them later
SKETCH
(Amir and Rick Fox at a computer)
Amir: I'm betting on both teams
Rick Fox: That works. Hey, is there a deli that would deliver twelve dozen hard boiled eggs to me right now?
Amir: Twelve dozen, or like twelve eggs?
Rick Fox: Ah, forget it.
Amir: Well, no, I can look it up.
Rick Fox: No, look, if you don't have it off the top of your head its not worth it to me. Just make the bet.
Amir: Okay, sorry.
Rick Fox: Don't be sorry, just get me the eggs
Amir: You said forget it
Rick Fox: I say allot of things, I said make the bet didn't I
(Jake walks in to the office wearing a jumper with an eagle on it)
Jake: Woah..
Rick Fox: Are you the egg man?
Jake: Are you Rick Fox?
Amir: CooCoo Cachoo Jakey are you the egg-man or not?
Jake: Sorry, what is Rick Fox doing here?
Rick Fox: I'll tell you what Rick Fox is not doing here. He's not enjoying 144 delicious hard boiled eggs.
Amir: Give him the eggs man
Jake: Yeah, I think I missed the whole egg thing...
Amir: Rick Fox is my bookie, okay, so just relax
Rick Fox: You know what, woah, woah, I feel we've dropped the whole egg situation, and I very much still want them
Jake: Your bookie?
Amir: Yeah, I pay him a small commission or 'Vig' and he helps place these sports bets and we win money, guaranteed!
Jake: How gauranteed?
Amir: Because even if I win or lose, he's still getting the vig
Rick Fox: Oooooh
Amir: Ooooooh
Rick Fox: Oooooooh
Amir: Ooooooooh
Rick Fox: Oooooh
Amir: Ooooooh
Jake: Stop, how much money have you made so far?
Amir: I'm down, alright, thirteen G's
Rick Fox: Thirty G's
Amir: Thirty G's. But either way, Rick Fox is up BIG!
Rick Fox: You mean, up VIG!
(Jake, Amir and Rick Fox all laugh)
Rick Fox: Now give me the eggs
Amir: Get him the eggs
Jake: What have you bet money on
Amir: Lot of stuff, man. We bet on a 2003 Laker game that Rick was sure he lost. Turns out they won.
Rick Fox: Oops
Amir: That lost me allot of money, that was a very nice vig for Rick.
Jake: Good work
Amir: Yeah, we also bet on the 2001 winter Olympics.
Jake: Yeah, there wasn't an Olympics in 2001
Rick Fox: No there wasn't, even years
Amir: That's what we forgot. You would've saved me alot of moola, that was a big one for Rick
Rick Fox: Yeah, you mean vig one
(Rick Fox and Amir laugh)
Jake: Yeah, you already made that joke
Rick Fox: Why you are not holding 144 delicious hard boiled eggs right now is beyond me!
Jake: Really, why?
Rick Fox: Do you know how I won three NBA championships with Los Angeles Lakers?
Jake: Eggs?
Rick Fox: What? Eggs? What are you talking about? Hard work, defense, rebounding. Eggs?
Amir: Idiot
Rick Fox: Why are you talking about eggs?
Amir: I dunno, he's like...
Rick Fox: Are you obsessed with eggs?
Amir: Are you obsessed, are you a chicken bro?
Rick Fox: Is that why you have that on your shirt?
Amir: Is that a chicken on your shirt?
Rick Fox: It's a chicken, isn't it?
Jake: It's an eagle on my shirt. Okay, you're obsessed with eggs, sir
Rick Fox: That's a chicken. Bet Chicken.
Amir: I'm gonna bet chicken right now, we're do I go: chicken.com?
Rick Fox: Yeah, give me the vig. You gotta learn how to be funny man
END SKETCH
POST SKETCH CLIP
(Rick Fox in a separate room on the phone)