Intro:
Jake: Hey you're watching-
Amir: Ok, this new intro sucks.
Jake: Why?
Amir: Because it's different.
Amir: Woah... Woah.. Woah... What's that?
Kevin: Youtube?
Amir wrongly pronounces YouTube
Kevin: What?
Amir: What? Why don't you do that from home, for the rest of the day, huh? Come on buddy, get out of here.
Kevin: This is the first time you've ever talked to me.
Amir: Yea well there's a first time for everything... man. This the first time I've ever done this.
Amir raises his arms slowly while moving his hips
Amir: But that's it, alright? Go home, bitch! Alright Mista White?
Kevin: I'm gonna get back to work.
Amir: You should have thought about that before I caught you looking at viral videos.
Kevin: I'm supposed to post-
Amir: I'm supposed ta post a post, what are you a broken poster now?
Streeter comes into frame
Amir: Are you high, man?
Streeter: Hey. H-hey.
Amir: Uh-oh
Streeter: What uh... What's going on?
Amir: Spaghetti
Streeter: Can you just let Kevin do his job?
Amir: Yea, well honestly I'd love to, but he was just looking at legit youtube videos.
Streeter: Yea, right, well that's part of his job.
Amir: Yea, well he was looking at porn, too. It's so gross to say it but he was.... he was looking at pornography music videos.... Pornographic music videos and he was masturbating. He was jerking it at his desk.
Streeter: Right at the desk?
Amir: Right there, he was doing it.
Streeter: I doubt that.
Amir: Yea, well I doubted it too, which is why I sent him home for the day, but its up to you if you want to bring him back tomorrow. But as of right now, the way he's acting, my vote is for fuck no.
Streeter: You do not have the right to talk down to anybody at this company.
Amir shakes his head at Kevin
Amir: Anybody, buddy.
Streeter: You barely have a job here as it is.
Amir: Barely on thin ice.
Streeter: I'm talking to you-
Amir: Kevin
Streeter: Amir
Amir: I'm done here, alright? All I'm saying is... keep your intern on a shorter leash.
Streeter: Kevin runs the videos on the site, he's not an intern. He's worked here longer than you.
Amir: Cool... Ok Jake, here we go. Jake! Can you help us settle a debate please?
Jake enters frame
Jake: I don't want to get involved.
Amir: Is it okay to masturbate in the middle of the office? Is that cool? Is that a cool thing to do?
Jake: I told you that in confidence... Bitch!
Streeter: Woah, woah.
Jake lunges at Amir but Streeter holds him back
Streeter: Hey, hey, hey.. shhh, shhh. I do it too. I do it too. Hey, hey. I do it too, okay? I do it too, I do it too. It's alright.
College Humor logo appears
Video footage of Jake sitting at his desk at night moving his arms in a jerking motion under the desk. Streeter
walks past.
Streeter: Good night.
Jake: Good night, man.
Jake lifts his arm and pretends he was scratching his head. As Streeter leaves frame, Jake covers his face with his hand.
End.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-DQcNJMz9g