INTRO
Amir: You think you're so cool for watching Jake and Amir? Well you ain't!
Jake: Do you want people to stop watching?
Amir: No please!
END INTRO
Jake: Hey man you never have any food so it's a little weird when you ask me to eat with you. You also haven't blinked in a really long time, aren't your eyes dry?
Amir: I moisten it with this washcloth so I don't need to blink.
Jake: You're blinking behind the washcloth.
Amir: Rock paper scissors for the rest of that sandwich.
Jake: No.
Amir: What's the matter? Afraid you'll lose the sandwich?
Jake: Correct!
Amir: If you're afraid you'll lose to me then we don't have to play!
Jake: Hahahahaha, stand up let's do it!
Jake and Amir: Rock paper scissors shoot!
Amir: Ooo kemosabe!
Jake: Nah dude, you took a beat that's a DQ.
Amir: That's my sandwich.
Jake: Best 2 out of 3, best 2 out of 3.
Jake: Rock paper scissors shoot! Go to sleep, what have you got? Ooo scissors.
Amir: No.
Jake: That's scissors man.
Amir: It's paper.
Jake: No no no, your fingers are separated, this is scissors, this is scissors, this is paper! Like this, cup it almost like it's rock.
Amir: I was like this.
Jake: No, you weren't. You gonna be a bitch about it, you wanna be a bitch about it? You want your sandwich bitch? Here have your sandwich bitch.
Amir: I can't breathe.
Jake: You're a bitch.
Amir: struggling to breathe
Jake: You're not gonna make me feel like an asshole alright, you were cheating. I'm, I'm sorry, good lunch.
Amir: struggling to breath Jake.... Jake...
Jake: You know what you're doing? You're fighting the breathing and that's what's making it more painful, it's painful breathing right? Try only exhaling.
Amir: struggles to breath
Pat: Is Amir okay?
Jake: He's fine, I apologized to him twice already.
Amir: Once, you apologized once.
Jake: Alright look dude if you don't stop acting like a little bitch I'm gonna tell everyone you cheated during RPS and then you're gonna look like a douche.
Amir: No!
Jake: Alright good, you good?
Amir: Yes.
Jake: You're ribs not broken? Tell me does this hurt?
Jake: We good? Pound it. Stardom shot! Oh that's not your rib so you can't be pissed at me unless you're a bitch.
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