INTRO (pause) Jake - You were supposed to do this one.
Amir - Ack, my bad.
Jake - Bad.
(Jake is in the office, his cell phone goes off, to the tune of a Ke$ha song)
JAKE: (on cell) Hey. Where are you?
AMIR: (on the other end, appears to be in a prison) Good good, man. How are you?
JAKE: I said 'where are you?'.
AMIR: I'm fine. I'm better than fine, actually. I'm great. Hey, uh, could you do me a flavor? (laughs) No, I said flavor instead of favor but could you go into my drawer and pull out one of the pieces of paper that's there?
JAKE: Wow, these are a lot of reckless driving tickets.
AMIR: OK, could you go like five minutes without editorializing?
JAKE: Sorry, but I'm just saying--
AMIR: I'm serious, I was talking to Sarah and like we both agree that you never say anything plainly. You always have to like, have the last word and it just, it gets really tiring.
JAKE: OK, I'm going to hang up.
AMIR: W-w-wait! Could you find one that says 'oh, good driving sir. We owe you eleven hundred dollars'? And please do it without adding your two cents for once.
JAKE: OK, there's one that says you owe them eleven hundred dollars.
AMIR: No, that's not it. Keep looking. Keep looking for the one where it says they owe me the cash.
JAKE: Just...before I keep looking, police don't do that.
AMIR: You sure about that? Like is that a fact or is this another case of the Jake's, where you just keep on talking to hear the sound of your own voice because honestly, if it's the latter--
JAKE: It's fact.
AMIR: Bitches and cream, that blows.
JAKE: You have tickets. You owe the police money. A lot of money.
AMIR: Fu-udge-sicles. Anyways, how was your weekend?
JAKE: It's Tuesday afternoon!
AMIR: Good good, yeah, mine was bad. Really bad, actually. I got arrested for doing 90 in a zero.
JAKE: A zero?
AMIR: Well there's no like sign or anything but it was a freakin' kindergarden so yeah, I think you're supposed to go zero!
JAKE: Look, I know this is a small thing to bring up but before, when you first called and I said 'where are you?' and you thought I said 'how are you?' . . . you said you were good.
AMIR: OK, please don't do this now, OK? I'm being held without bail, so it would be really nice just to hear someone say that it is not my fault.
JAKE: I do think it's your fault.
AMIR: There you go again with the talkie-talkie! You sound like the freakin' cop that I punched. Hey, what was the name of that song...?
JAKE: I whip my hair back and forth.
AMIR: Yes. That's the one. Tight.
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuKecKxPTJw