INTRO
JAKE: Hey, you are watching Jake and Amir.
AMIR: You smug little prick.
JAKE: Wow, wow wow!
AMIR: Sorry.
Amir walking around next to the elevator. The elevator arrives and Jake comes out.
AMIR: (talking to nobody) Ha ha ha! Bye, dude! I'll see you! (to Jake) Hey, what's up?
JAKE: Were you waiting for me by the elevator?
AMIR: No! I was talking to my friend Raymond and then he had to leave the second that you got here.
Jake and Amir start walking to their desks.
AMIR: Anyway, what have you done today?
JAKE: So far? I woke up...
AMIR: Same.
JAKE: ...got dressed...
AMIR: Same same.
JAKE: ...came to work.
AMIR: Same same same, triple same, knasty knasty. I'm actually pumped to work with you today.
JAKE: On what?
AMIR: Just being at work is a thrill. Why do you have to question on what?
They stop walking.
JAKE: What is that?
Jake's desk is wrapped in toilet paper.
AMIR: Oh! Cowards! Everyone here is a coward for that. Bastard got my desk too.
Jake starts removing the toilet paper from the desk. Amir stops him.
AMIR: Stop, okay! Stop, it's not worth it! We are gonna get through this!
Amir tries to hug Jake. Jake stops him by putting his hand on Amir's face.
AMIR: We are gonna get through this!
Amir tries to hug Jake again and Jake stops him again.
AMIR: (singing) Gonna get, gonna get, my mind off you!
Amir tries again to hug Jake and Jake stops him again.
JAKE: It's not that bad.
AMIR: It's not that bad!? It's wet!
Amir grabs a water bottle and starts pouring water on the paper. Jake stops him.
JAKE: Hey, hey! You're doing that! Did you do this?
AMIR: (talking fast) No, I couldn't have done this, because earlier this morning I went pet shopping with my friend Raymond from earlier, and then we both got a hamster and went to my apartment and then we got to work at the same time. My hamster's name is... (looks at the desk) Toilet Paper, and toilet paper...
JAKE: I didn't ask you the hamster's name, and wow, you should have thought of a name that didn't sound like toilet paper.
AMIR: Alright, let's just blow today. Can't we just take a personal day and go for a picnic or something? I'm sure the bandit left us some sandwiches and a frisbee.
JAKE: He didn't.
AMIR: Check under your desk maybe it's there.
Jake checks under the desk.
JAKE: Nothing.
Amir checks under the desk.
AMIR: What!? No! How..? Who... who did... THIS (pointing at the desk)... it's what I'm pissed about.
JAKE: The toilet paper?
AMIR: Yeah. Well, you know what? The bandit must have left the food and the frisbee at my apartment earlier today because he was distracted, busy with the scheming of things, so why don't we swing by my apartment and then the bandit might have to take a dump real quick.
JAKE: The bandit or you?
AMIR: (sighs) Alright, just cut me some slack man, at least I'm trying.
JAKE: You're lying.
AMIR: I'm lying because you don't trust me ever.
JAKE: How can I trust you? You lie all the time!
AMIR: Why tell the truth to someone who always thinks you're lying?
Jake looks confused.
AMIR: Alright, you want the truth? The truth is I just wanted to hang out with you, okay? I'm sorry, I wanted to go on a picnic with you. But then... this bandit! (grabs toilet paper) With this joke, this prank just ruined everything! Let's just... let's get out of here, man. Let's just forget it. Let's set it and forget it. I think best course of action: GTFO.
THE END
http://www.jakeandamir.com/post/1544860521/toilet-paper