INTRO Amir - Hey, you're amazing and you're beautiful.
Jake - Just introduce the video.
Amir - I love you.
AMIR: Hey, did you get my e-mail about me wanting to pitch you movie ideas?
JAKE: I did. Did you get my response about how I didn't want to do that?
AMIR: All right, first up. It's a movie, but it's also a sweater. What?! You can wear it, you can watch it, you can do whatever. Looks fabulous, be good. It's sweater: the movie.
JAKE: No.
AMIR: So you know how every good movie is just a combination of two other movies?
JAKE: No.
AMIR: OK, so you're definitely not going to like Fever Hitch.
AMIR: This one is based on a script.
JAKE: All movies are based on a script.
AMIR: Not documentaries! (flips paper in notepad) OK, so it's a documentary about scripts, right?
AMIR: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Fast, and Too Furious. No.
AMIR: Stewart Thinkpen was an average guy--
JAKE: Pass.
AMIR: Argh, sorry, just took me forever to perfect that voice. (hits Jake)
JAKE: Ow-ow!
AMIR: Harold and Maud and Kumar. OK.
AMIR: Oh! If you liked the sweater movie--
JAKE: I didn't.
AMIR: --Well, let me get through the freaking pitch without you tainting it with your negativity! Sweater 2: The Jacketing.
JAKE: No.
(Amir is picking skin off his burnt face)
JAKE: Hey man, will you not do that right now?
AMIR: It's like, a lot of it is just dead skin.
AMIR: American Beauty and the Beast. (chuckles) Just give me something man.
AMIR: She was a girl who had all the answers. He was the boy who had just one big question. And then--argh, I've got nothing. If you've got something, that'll help me out a lot.
JAKE: Well, let's just pass on it for now.
AMIR: All right. Maybe piling it. (draws a circle on the pad)
AMIR: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Antz, with a 'Z'.
JAKE: No.
AMIR: OK, maybe. (circles on pad)
JAKE: That's--Sorry. So the circles mean maybe? Because you've circled every single idea I've said no to.
AMIR: The Talented Mr. Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
JAKE: That one is not even a movie.
AMIR: Not yet. These are pit-- Oh, I see. Rip--Yeah. Maybe.
AMIR: Uh, all right. I think that went well.
JAKE: It didn't. I said no to literally everything you pitched.
AMIR: Well, now I know what you don't want to hear, so that I can sort of re-imagine everything--
JAKE: Don't think of any more movie ideas, all right? Man, you're really bad at it and I would quit entirely.
AMIR: Ouch. (chuckles) That is a tough pill to swallow. Heh, you got to understand that I was really jazzed about these ideas last night. I was like air-boxing with no one, writing them down, getting super jazzed. So for me to hear that, that's tough man. That's tough for me to hear.
AMIR: (sigh) I guarantee that if you knew what you were saying to me, if you knew how much that would affect me, that you wouldn't have said half the stuff you just said.
JAKE: I think I'm going to go. (gets up and leaves shot)
AMIR: Yeah, I think I'm going to peace out too. I might take a personal day because I feel like there's a--
JAKE: Well you just got back from a two and a half week long Mexican vacation.
AMIR: STAYCATION! And--(falls back into couch) You're right. Why'd you say that stuff, man?
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Dv43UUPJ4s