Intro:
Amir: Hey Evan, you're watching Jake and Amir!
Jake: Great, one for Evan.
A: Now for everyone else.
(Amir walks in, badly sunburned and wearing stereotypical Mexican clothing)
A: Hola.
J: Hey. How was Mexico?
A: Como está, como está.
J: Okay.
A: Que?
J: Nothing.
A: What did I miss?
J: A lot of work. You didn't email and tell anybody that you were leaving.
A: Porque.
J: I don't know. What'd you do down there?
A: I spent nine days getting the lay of the land. Then on the tenth day I left my hotel room and got badly... badly lost.
J: Wow, is that were you got that terrible sunburn?
A(singing): Como una promesa, eres tu! ERES TU!
J: It looks like it really hurts.
A: It hurt more yesterday, yes. My entire face was in a blister.
J: So you picked up a little bit of an accent then.
A: Yes, just a small, small leetle bit of an accent.
J: Little bit of an Italian accent and no Spanish-
A: I was lost for many moons, and many suns.
J: You were gone longer than eight days.
A: Yes, 17 moons, and oddly 21 suns.
J: That's not possible.
A: Well maybe I missed some moons, yeah.
J: You probably missed some moons.
A: Yeah, cause I fall asleep at nighttime.
J: Right.
A: Do you want your souvenir or not, I had to smuggle it.
J: Okay then no!
A: Let me just pass it through me, sanitize it, and give it back to you.
J: So it's in your butt right now.
A: Sí. Sí señor.
J: Is that why you're so unbelievably calm?
A: Yes.
J: And you won't sit down?
A: I cannot sit down it hurts too much.
J: Because you have a souvenir inside your anus.
A: Sí sí yes.
J: What'd you get me?
A: I got you a real authentican Mexican sombrero.
J: Okay, let's get you to a doctor.
A: Ah sí, actually don't touch me because it's EXPANDING IN ME! Ohh-