INTRO Amir - Hello, you're watching Jake and Amir and I'm a robot
Jake - Really funny.
Amir - Okay, I wish you meant that.
Jake: Going somewhere?
Amir: Oh, are you going somewhere? What are you an airline motto maker, and that's your motto, that's your prized motto? How long have you been working on that one? You should be able to sell it. Are you going somewhere? Tee
Jake: Okay.
Amir: Okay. You don't care why I have everything, ever?
Jake: No, Amir, I don't.
Amir: Okay, then I won't tell you.
Jake: Good, please don't.
Amir: I'm running away from home.
Jake: Don't tell me.
Amir: Ooh, and you can't try to stop me.
Jake: I'm not trying to stop you.
Amir: Because you can't stop me, and you won't stop me. Because I'm done, I'm fed up. I can't afford it anymore, and I want out, alright? It's smothering me. I want to just leave it all behind.
Jake: You're not leaving anything behind, apparently. What can't you afford?
Amir: Rent, ass, okay? I live in an apartment full of people that hate me and I just can't take it anymore, okay? All of a sudden, people give a crap where I leave all my garbage.
Jake: So you were evicted?
Amir: Okay, do you know what evicted means? Evicted means I live in a building filled with pussies that can't handle my rock roll attitude and my party jeans.
Jake: I don't think you know what evicted means.
Amir: Okay, you know what? Forget it, I'm done. I just, I'd rather crash with you for the rest of my life than ever go back there.
Jake: I would rather not.
Amir: That would actually make sense because I could just live with you rent free then, we could just, we could just chill out and..
Jake: You cannot live with me rent free.
Amir: Well not.. obviously I'd pay you in some fashion, just not with money, right now.
Jake: It doesn't matter because you're not living with me.
Amir: Haha, look at us, we're already having roommate squabbles. Hey let's talk about it tonight, it's taco night Tuesday, which means I bring the Tortillas but you have to bring the meat this time, okay. I'm sick of.. meet me in the middle.
Amir: Oh no, my bat...