Home < All Episodes < Girlfriend Pt. 5 (Cookies)

Girlfriend Pt. 5 (Cookies)

Episode ID: 348

Air date: 2010-08-10

Video: Link

Scribe: u/rollored

INTRO:

(Silence)

JAKE: You said you were gonna do this one.

AMIR: Yeah, well, I lied. Sue me.

(Jake at home by himself. He's sitting on a chair tossing a tennis ball against the wall.)

(There's a knock at the door. Jake gets up and answers the door.)

(Lerona walks in)

JAKE: Hey, come in.

LERONA: I'm sorry, I have something that I really need to ask you, and- You can say no, but, I just- Amir and I got in a fight, and-

JAKE: Yeah?

LERONA: You're his best friend.

JAKE: Yeah.

LERONA: And I wanna make it up to him, what should I do?

JAKE: You know, we're not actually best friends, at all, okay.

LERONA: Never mind, this is stupid. Amir would be pissed I came here anyways, I should go.

JAKE: woah woah waoh, why would he be pissed?

LERONA: It's what our whole fight was about. I said that you were cute, or something. It was really stupid.

JAKE: That's not stupid, okay, let's- I'll help. Stay.

LERONA: Really?

JAKE: Yeah...We'll make him cookies.

LERONA: Yeah.

JAKE: Yeah.

(Cut to shots of counter)

JAKE: Flour. (Bag of flour gets put on counter)

JAKE: Eggs. (Carton of eggs gets put on counter)

JAKE: Butter. (4 sticks of butter get put on counter)

JAKE: Chocolate chips. (2 bags of chocolate chips get put on counter)

JAKE: Chicken Nuggets. (An entire plate of nuggets get put on counter)

JAKE: Vanilla Extract. (A bottle of vanilla extract gets put on top of the nuggets)

(Back to Jake)

JAKE: and wine.

LERONA: Why wine?

JAKE: That's for us.

LERONA: Oh, sheesh y'all.

(Jake looks at her.)

LERONA: Sorry.

JAKE: no, no, no, don't be. That was cute.

(Cut to later in the day. Jake is putting the tray of cookies on the table.)

LERONA: (tipsy, on top of the counter, empty glass of wine in her hand.) Maybe...I should just suck his dick.

JAKE: What?! No. Why?

LERONA: All this effort? Wouldn't it just be easier for me to just throw myself on him?

JAKE: No, okay, the cookies are done. They're good. Give him the cookies.

LERONA: Hear me out. (Lerona gets off the counter and steps towards Jake.)

(Lerona keeps moving closer to Jake)

LERONA: If you and I were together, and we got in a fight, and I came over, and I was totally naked, and I was like Do whatever you want to me. Be as dirty as you want, you wouldn't like that? If I was totally naked. (Lerona's face is near Jake's and her arm is around his neck)

JAKE: Try a cookie. (Jake puts a cookie in her mouth.)

LERONA: Ohmygod, it's so good.

JAKE: (frustrated look on his face) It's so good.

LERONA: Yeah.

(There's a knock on the door)

AMIR: (from other side of the door) Jake, it's me.

LERONA: Ohmy- you can't tell him that I'm here.

AMIR: Your best friend. Your best friend in the whole wide world.

(Jake opens the door)

JAKE: What's up?

(Amir walks in)

AMIR: I feel like shit.

JAKE: Don't come in!

AMIR: I was a jerk to Lerona.

JAKE: YOU were a jerk?

AMIR: Yeah, she said you were cute. I said you were more hot than cute, obviously, but, things got weird from there.

JAKE: Yeah.

AMIR: It's just that she's so smart, she's so funny and she's so pretty and I don't deserve her- woah, are those chicken nugget cookies?

LERONA: They are.

AMIR: What are you doing here?

LERONA: I came here to make you these cookies.

AMIR: You came to Jake's apartment?

LERONA: Ye-yeah.

AMIR: To make ME cookies?

LERONA: Yeah.

AMIR: That's awesome.

LERONA: You're awesome.

AMIR: You're awesome.

LERONA: You're awesomer.

(They hug.)

AMIR: Ohhhhh! Let's never fight again.

LERONA: What say we go back to your place and eat these in private?

AMIR: Uh....yeah. Hahaha.

(They head towards the door)

AMIR: (As Lerona opens the door) Oh, my.

JAKE: You forgot the cookies, man.

(Jake eats a cookie in frustration)

JAKE: (Grossed out noises) Fuck me!

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