Opening Sequence
Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir: Forever.
Jake: For the next two minutes.
Amir: Forever.
Episode
(Lerona sneaks up behind Jake and puts her hands over his eyes)
Lerona: Sup!
Jake: Get the fuck off− Oh my god, I'm sorry, you sounded just like Amir.
Lerona: Why would you yell at Amir?
Jake: I, um... What's up?
Lerona: Nothing, I just came to surprise Amir. Take him out to lunch.
Jake: I hope you like McDonald's.
Lerona: I love McDonald's. Don't you?
Jake: It's... What's up?
Lerona: Oh my god, is that an Aragorn action figure?
Jake: That... no, that is... (Covers the action figure with a hat) I used to like Lord of the Rings but now I think it's gay.
Lerona: No, I love Lord of the Rings!
Jake: Do you? I love it too! I do.
Lerona: What's your favorite one?
Jake: Um, wow that's hard. Oh wait no, it's not. It's The Two Towers. Remember when they're in the fields of Rohan and Eomer finds them
and he's gonna chop off Gimli's head and then Legolas draws his bow and he's all like,
In unison: You would die before your sword(Lerona)/stroke(Jake) fell.
Jake: Stroke, not sword, but that was close. Wow that's so cool that you know it. Hey, can I ask you a question?
Lerona: Ugh, I know what you're gonna ask me.
Jake: You do?
Lerona: And, I mean, I know Amir's not the smartest guy, but he's really genuine. That's what I like about him, he's just not about
just sex, you know?
Jake: I was just gonna ask you why a girl as pretty as you is into Lord of the Rings.
Lerona: Oh. Can I ask you a question?
Jake: Yeah.
Lerona: Will you promise not to tell Amir I said he wasn't the smartest guy?
(Jake nodes)
Lerona: Thanks.
(Amir puts his hand over Jake's eyes from behind)
Amir: Sup!
Jake: Get− Haha, you got me.
Amir: Owie.
Jake: You got me man, that was good.
Lerona: Jake and I were just talking about Lord of the Rings.
Amir: Those DVDs own hard.
Jake: Yeah, only we were talking about the books, you f***ing ass.
Lerona: I was talking about the movies.
Amir: You cannot pass!
(Lerona laughs)
Jake: Shall not pass. Don't laugh. Are you laughing cause he was wrong?
Lerona: (Still laughing) No...
Amir: Anyway, shall we go to lunch, madar?
Jake: What's madar? Is that where you're going to?
Lerona: He meant madam.
Jake: I know.
Lerona: Do you call him out like that all the time?
Amir: Yes. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Jake: Great I'm impressing the wrong person.
Amir: Off we go. Peace in the Ittle East! Peace in the Italy.
Jake: Italy, right.
(Lerona and Amir walk away. Jake picks up Aragorn.)
Jake: I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
(Lerona starts walking back)
Jake: The day may come when the courage of men fails. When we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But that is not−
Lerona: Sorry, forgot my sunglasses.
(Jake puts Aragorn away)
Jake: Yeah.
Lerona: Don't be embarrassed. That was cute.
Jake: (Talking under his breath) Thank you.
Amir: Hey babe, I'm gonna be in the bathroom. Gotta drop a major two-bomb. Jake don't wait up.