INTRO Amir - Hey, you are watching Jake and Amir and a loser says what?
Jake - You're a loser.
Amir - What? ...No, wait!
JAKE: (on cell) No, trust me, Mr. Lanzo, it will not happen again, I--
(Amir tackles Jake onto the floor, Jake is on his back and Amir has him straddled)
JAKE: Ow.
AMIR: You mean, ouch.
JAKE: (sighs) You tackled me.
AMIR: Yeah. Our bodies are now the same, our souls however, have switched. Haven't you ever seen Freaky Friday?
JAKE: No.
AMIR: Incorrect! I have, so thus, you have. You saw it at a Best Buy. You cried at the end.
JAKE: I was on the phone with my landlord.
AMIR: My landlord.
JAKE: And I might get kicked out of my apartment.
AMIR: My apartment.
JAKE: So I need to call him back, right now.
AMIR: Call me back . . . later.
JAKE: OK, that one didn't even make any sense.
AMIR: Hm, blame yourself, I'm you.
JAKE: If you're me, then what's my ATM pin number?
AMIR: 5559
JAKE: SHHH-All right. Fine.
(Pat is seen overhearing and scribbling it down)
JAKE: What word can I never pronounce correctly?
AMIR: High-archy.
JAKE: Hierar-har...
AMIR: ki-ki.
JAKE: Uh, yeah. Fine. What was my first pet's name?
AMIR: Lady.
JAKE: INCORRECT!
AMIR: The tadpole?
JAKE: Oooh, yeah, Lady.
AMIR: I'm surprised you didn't remember that, me.
JAKE: What?
AMIR: I knew this would work. Jamie Lee Curtis has never lied to me!
JAKE: OK, get off of me or I'm going to start hitting you.
AMIR: Do it. It'll just hurt you.
(Jake starts smacking Amir's face)
AMIR: Heh-heh, stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting your--
(Jake smacks himself)
AMIR: Ow. (pause) I mean, ouch.
(blackout)
(Pat is withdrawing money from an ATM)
PAT: Bingo! (makes call on cell) Hey mom, I'm just calling to let you know that I am going to pay my own rent this month be--Oh, hey Brian. Uh, can you put my mom on? Why are you answering her phone? Uh-huh, yeah, uh, just put my mom on, please. Thank you. (pause) Hey mom, why is Brian answering your phone? Uh-huh. I-I just don't understand, I don't- yeah, it's really early there isn't it? Anyway, um, I'm calling to let you know I got my own rent money this month, so don't bother send-- No. What do you mean 'how I got it'? I earned it. Whatever. I got a job, I don't know. I got paid. What do you-- I didn't -- Yeah, I stole it, mom. I stole my friend's ATM-- Yes, you did say something about ATM, didn't you? Did Brian just call me a thief? I heard him in the background.
THE END.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJ37NcRRBdY