Intro:
Jake: For more Jake and Amir check out facebook.com/jakeandamir.
Amir: You sell out.
Jake: You told me to say that.
Video:
Amir: Whoa, what's that?
Jake: An apple walnut muffin.
Amir: Don't mind if I do. [takes muffin]
Jake: I mind if you do. [Amir takes bite from muffin]
Amir: [speak with a mouth full of muffin from now on] Whoa, what's in this?
Jake: It's an apple walnut muffin so apples, wal...
Amir: [interrupting] Oh no! [choking noise], I'm allergic to apples! [choking noise]
Jake: Ok if you're allergic to apples then just spit it out.
Amir: [choking noise] Well I'm allergic to other stuff, what else is in this?
Jake: What else are you allergic to?
Amir: Walnuts! [coughs] Eggs, yeast, flour, milk, muffins.
Jake: Alright, so you're listing things that are in muffins and then you also said muffins so definitely spit it out.
Amir: Bees
Jake: You're probably safe there but I'd still spit it out.
Amir: I can't spit it out, ok! My throat's closing! Why did you give this to me?
Jake: I didn't give it to you, you took it from me, knowing full well it was an apple walnut muffin.
Amir: [pointing to Jake's iMac] Well that's an apple walnut computer, you don't see me eating that.
Jake: Did you think my muffin was a computer?
Amir: I just realised I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die because of the muffin because of you; There's gonna be blood on your hands!
Jake: You're not gonna die!
Amir: I'm gonna die just like that president did.
Jake: What President died from a muffin?
Amir: [in a normal voice] Fun fact, Millard Fillmore.
Jake: Not true.
Amir: [starts choking again]
Jake: Spit it out! Spit it out!
Amir: My throat's closing, I can't spit it out!
Jake: [gets up and starts clawing the muffin out of Amir's mouth]
Amir: [disgusting choking noises]
[Jake finishes getting the muffin out of Amir's mouth]
Amir: Have you seen the new Facebook redesign? It's really whack; it's so bad.
Amir: Yeah, the way they do it is like really little, small, subtle changes so you don't notice it but I notice it. I think I'm gonna start a group that's called like, 1 million strong or 10 million strong against... well I haven't figured out the name of the group yet but it's definitely gonna be something like... [takes another bite of the muffin] [chokes] Ah!