Amir: Hey it's Amir, and your watching Jake and Amir, and...
Jake: Why are you crying?
Amir: I don't know.
Painter: (singing) Hey my name is Drake. Do you know my buddy, Samuel? He has a razor scooter. Go Samuel!
Jake: Oh, wow.
Amir: Ahh, Jake get out.
Jake: What do you mean get out? This is an office.
Painter: Wait, no no no. When I have a paint brush in my hand this becomes a studio.
Jake: No, it's an office.
Amir: Jake, you can't see me like this.
Jake: You can't be here like this.
Painter: (With a cigarette in his mouth) Is there some law that says you cannot hang out in an office without your...
Jake: What?
Ben: (Spits out cigarette) Is there some law that says you can't hang out in an office with no clothes on?
Jake: There probably is.
Painter: I didn't hear you say the word 'yes,' so imma keep goin.
Amir: Jake, I am naked!
Jake: I know you're naked, we're on the same page about that. Why are you embarrased about me seeing you naked when there are all these other people around?
Amir: I'm not embarrassed, ok? It's just supposed to be a surprise.
Jake: You wanted to surprise me with this?
Painter: I can't believe you just touched my painting.
Amir: What the heck is that?!
Painter: It's your masterpiece, man.
Amir: No, no. You said I could pose like that for inspiration, but the actual masterpiece would be of me and Jake on a tandem bike or a skateboard.
Painter: You're gonna be on a tandem bicycle, but I'm gonna warn you, it's gonna be hard drawin him on a bicycle, what with all that **** in the gears.
Amir: Have mercy.
Jake: Stop. Look, your plan was to give me this painting?
Amir: No, my plan was to auction off the painting and split the money with you, 80-20 huh. Now I'm starting to have serious doubts. Well, not serious doubts but im starting to...
Jake: You should have serious doubts about it, ok? That's a horrendous plan.
Painter: You think it's a horrendous plan?
Jake: Yes.
Painter: You don't think he can auction off this painting?
Jake: No.
Painter: Well, then listen to this. (Begins to quickly speak non-sense, in an auctioneer style.)
Amir: I got ten dollars.
Painter: I got ten dollars from Amir. (Continues with the 'auction')
Jake: You're doing it wrong.
Amir: A hundred dollars.
Painter: Hundred dollars from Amir. (Continues)
Amir: Hundred fifty
Painter: Hundred fifty sold.
Amir: Two hundred
Painter: We're on two dundred dollars
Amir: Two fifty.
Painter: To two hundred fifty. Congratulations, sir.
Amir: This is insane!
Jake: It is, yeah.
Amir: I'm rich!
Jake: No, you're not. You don't understand how auctions work.
Painter: And you have some art.
Jake: Neither do you.
Painter: Well...
Amir: I don't know what you're complaining about, ok? I'm gonna take us to dinner with the money that we made.
Jake: What money? You just spent two hundred and fifty dollars.
Amir: Correction.
Jake: What?
Amir: You just corrected me.
Jake: Gotcha.
Painter: Guys, there still is the matter of my payment.
Amir: (gasp)!