INTRO:
AMIR: Hey, you're watching Jake and me!
JAKE: Say your name.
AMIR: Jinx!
JAKE: Nope.
AMIR: ..K.
[Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks.]
(Jake picks up his cell phone, calls someone, and holds it up to his ear.)
JAKE: (to the phone) Yo!
AMIR: (to Jake, thinking he is talking to him) Yo!
JAKE: Yo yo!
AMIR: Yo yo yo--
JAKE: Whattup, my man?
AMIR: (laughs) I dunno--
JAKE: How are things?
AMIR: Yeah, n- they're good.
JAKE: Dude I have a question for you actually.
AMIR: Wassap.
JAKE: (speaking directly into the phone's mic) How's your mom?
AMIR: She's fin--
JAKE: HAHAHAHAHAHhaha (continues laughing)
AMIR: (laughing along) How's your mom? Heh.. What?
JAKE: (laughing) Oh, no dude what happened to you last night?
AMIR: I wen- I went home and I had a whole box of Saltines without water, which seems to be impossibl--
JAKE: Dude, you went home with her!
AMIR: No I..--
JAKE: You did!
AMIR: Did I?
JAKE: You went home with her.
AMIR: Who-- I know.
JAKE: I know you.
AMIR: I know me.
JAKE: Don't-- Don't come to me like I don't know you.
AMIR: HAHAh- I don't wanna.. do that.
JAKE: I know you, man.
AMIR: (laughing) I know you.
JAKE: What do we always say?
AMIR: (smiling) What do we say?--
JAKE: You tell me what we always say.
AMIR: (smiling) How we say ittt, aahh!
JAKE: We ride together, we die together, 'til the day we die, mothaf**kaa!
AMIR: (trying to say it at the same time as Jake) --Die together.. (laughs hard) We do say that!
JAKE: Seriously though man, I love you.
AMIR: (goes quiet) Aah.. ehh..--
JAKE: Alright, it's good to hear from you.
AMIR: Good to hear-...
JAKE: We're breaking up, I think.
AMIR: nAAH I love you too.
JAKE: Hello?
AMIR: Hello?
JAKE: We're breaking up.
AMIR: Why?
JAKE: Noono we're back!
AMIR: HAha! We're back! (in a bad Rick James impression) We're back James, bitch!
JAKE: (to Amir) SHH!
AMIR: SHH! SHH SHH! (dancing) SHH SHH, SHH SHH, SHH SHH, SHHHHHEOUGHHH (makes a rocket launch noise, then an explosion noise)
JAKE: (to the phone) Aight dude, yeah, I should get back to work. But it's great to hear from you! Aight, I'll talk to you later. See ya, Joe!
AMIR: See ya, Joe...
JAKE: Aight, bye Joe.
AMIR: You were on the phone.
JAKE: (to Amir) Yeah.
AMIR: (strung together, silly voice) For a split second I thought you were talking to me!
JAKE: Yeah I was on the phone.
AMIR: I know.
(Amir gets up and throws water from a cup into Jake's face, then throws the cup down in his lap in anger.)
JAKE: WHAT THE H--
END.