Jake: Hey everybody! This is Jake, and you're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir: Wow, you are trying way too hard.
Jake: Okay.
Amir: Now, question, and it's an important one so think wisely—
Jake: Oh, damn it! Damn it. My computer crashed. I had a script on there, and I didn't save it.
Amir: (cringing) That sucks... Right?
Jake: Yeah. Thank you.
Amir: Sucks so hard. ...Doesn't it? ..Sucks so badly, doesn't it?
Jake: It's fine.
Amir: ...Sucks so bad and hard—
Jake: Can you...
Amir: I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that it doesn't suck, okay?
Jake: Yeah, I agreed.. with you that it sucks, okay? Let's move on.
Amir: I'm not gonna sit here and watch you cry about it, 'cause that's not gonna help—
Jake: I'm not crying. I'm not crying.
Amir: Yeah, you're not crying yet, but once the tears flow, how is that gonna save everything?
Jake: It's—It would—
Amir: Tell—Tell me how the tears will help [Jake: I don't h—], and I'll let you flow [Jake: They wouldn't help. Amir.]—I'll let them flow out.. onto my shoulder.
Jake: They—Fine. Tears would not help them out—
Amir: (mock crying) Oh my god, my files—I left my files home; it was so important—
Jake: Wow, this wouldn't even be nice if I were upset.
Amir: (still mock crying) Oh, but now my day's ruined, and I have to eat cat food, and I don't know what to do because I don't like the dry ones, it's too crisy, and the wet ones are too soggy so I have to mix it together, but it still tastes too salty to eat. (cries and bangs desk) WHY?! (looking at computer) Oh, damn it...
Jake: You eat cat food?
Amir: Uh, yeah. Of course. [Pause, Jake confused.] Look at me. (laughs) Look at me. Hey! Look at me. Look at me.
Jake: Wow! This is great; it was on AutoSave.
Amir: Things are gonna be fine, okay?
Jake: Yeah! I got the file back.
Amir: Okay. If this is the worst thing that happened to you today... (laughs)
Jake: It's not.
Amir: Guess what? You have a very blessed life.
Jake: Thank you.
Amir: 'Cause that means you're not gonna die today. ...So, pretty good—
Jake: I'm gonna get back to work.
Amir: Okay.
THE END