[Intro] Amir: Hey Craig, you're watching Jake and Amir.
Jake: Craig?
Amir: Yeah, and people who are not named Craig.
[Jake and Amir are at their desks, Amir cracks his fingers while looking at Jake. Amir then makes a pose when Jake looks over.]
Amir: Jake. I figured out a way to save time.
Jake: By not talking during work?
Amir: By wiping before you shit?
Jake: How does that save you any time?
Amir: How does what save you any time?
Jake: [Jake takes a deep breath] I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to get mad at you anymore, because it only stresses me out and it seems to have no effect on you. So...
Amir: [Louder] How does what save you any time, though? How does what, [pause] save you any time, that is.
Jake: How does wiping before you shit save you any time?
Amir: It does.
Jake: I would like to know how.
Amir: And I'm telling you that it is, a time saver.
Jake: I believe you that you believe it's a time saver.
Amir: And I believe you, that you believe me, that is, because it is.
Jake: Ok, but just tell me how it saves time.
Amir: Ya just do it! You wipe, and then you shit.
Jake: You're just explaining that you do it. [Amir nods] But you're not saying why it saves time.
Amir: You don't have to because it does.
Jake: Ok!
Amir: Ok!
Jake: That's fine!
Amir: Hm hm!
Jake: Good!
Amir: [High-pitched] Yeah!
Jake: All right.
Amir: [High-pitched] Yep!
Jake: I don't think it saves anytime but, we can agree to disagree.
Amir: [Laughs] We can agree to agree because it does! AHH!
Jake: We don't have to agree on everything and that's fine.
Amir: [Laughing] It is fine, because it does.
Jake: You are wrong sometimes.
Amir: I am never wrong sometimes.
Jake: Because this doesn't change the two things that you have to do which is shit and wipe. It just switches the order. Maybe if you didn't wipe at all, but...
Amir: Yes but if you switch the order it makes it so time is saved so, ahh! [laughs]
Jake: You don't switch the order of things and save time.
Amir: [laughs] Yes I do.
Jake: But, OK.
Amir: Ok
Jake: Ok
Amir: It is Ok because it does save time.
Jake: It doesn't save time.
Amir: [Singing and pretending to play an instrument] It is ok because it does save time, It is ok because it does save time.
Jake: [Joins in the song] Boop boop bedoop, It doesn't save time.
Amir: [Still singing and playing] Yes it does, Yes it does.
Jake: [Stops singing] Well, whatever. That's a bad song anyway. Ok.
Amir: [Still singing] Yes it does it does save time, yes it does it does save time. [gets louder] Yes it does it does save TIME!
Jake: [leaps across the desks onto Amir] I'm going to kill you!
Amir: AHHH
Jake: [Yelling at and choking Amir] HOW IS IT A TIME SAVER? YOU'RE STILL WIPING, YOU'RE STILL SHITTING. YOU'RE STILL DOING BOTH THINGS.
Amir: I can't breathe!
Jake: EXPLAIN IT TO ME. EXPLAIN IT.
Amir: LET GO! All I'm saying is that if you wipe before you shit there's not a lot of shit there so you don't have to wipe as much! That's it! It's a time saver!
Jake: That's it?
Amir: That's it, yeah.
Jake: That's really unsanitary. But I can see how you might say that's a time saver.
Amir: Because it saves time.
Jake: It still doesn't make any sense but, I can see your logic.
Amir: [nodding] What doesn't make sense?
Jake: I'll kill you.
Amir: GAHHH