Intro:
Jake: Hey, you're wat-
Amir: Hey, to you.
Jake: I wan't talking to you
Amir: Well then why am I here?
(Announcement) Will everyone please join us for a moment of silence for Kunal Shar, a Collegehumor employee who was killed last night.
(All employees observe moment of silence)
Amir singing loudly: Shawty's like a melody in my head that I can't keep out, got me singing like na na na na everyday, it's like ipod's stuck on replay. No way, no way-way-way-way-way-way-way-way.
Jake shooshing him through out his singing
Amir: Sorry, this is super loud, which makes me talk super loud cause you can't hear the sound of your own voice. Have you ever noticed that, it's like everytime-
Jake, whispering: We're having a moment of silence
Amir: Who died? Amir laughs
Jake: Kunal
Amir: Really? Erh. My bad.
Amir cracks fingers, turns laptop on, laptop makes a loud sound. Amir mouths sorry and turns volume of laptop down.
Jake, whispering: There's one button that mutes everything
Amir signs that he wants to do a farting noise with his hands
Jake, whispering: Why now?
Amir finds packet of MMs in pocket, bangs it his thigh before trying to open it and bangs it on his thigh again and gets it open this time.
Amir, whispering: MM?
Jake mouths: I don't want one.
Amir pours the bag of MMs on his desk
Amir, whispering: I like the blue ones
Amir throws the MM into the air to try to catch it in his mouth, but it lands and hits his tooth.
Pause
Amir, yelling: Ow!
Jake, whispering: You don't have to say ow
Amir, normal voice: Ok, obviously I wouldn't say anything unless it really really hurt, alright. You know me man, you know I keep silent unless it kills, but it really hurts.
Jake, whispering: Just please!
Amir, normal voice: Ok, you know what? How about you smile and I'll throw one of these pebbles in your mouth, we'll see how you like it, ok?
Jake, whispering: I'm asking for 10 seconds
Amir throws MM into Jake's eye
Amir, normal voice: Ooh see! Oh wait no, you can't because I threw one of the pebbles in your eyes and now you can't and you won't shut up about it. But when I do it I'm a huge dill-weed, so how's that fair? Huh?
(Announcement) Thank you.
Amir: Ugh! Just when I was about to be quiet. This is the worst day ever.