INTRO:
AMIR: Hi.
JAKE: And?
AMIR: You are watching., so.
JAKE: Anything else?
AMIR: (quickly) You'rewatchingJakeandAmir!
[Jake is sitting at his desk. He turns around in his chair to see Amir wearing nothing but a speedo, carrying a rolled up yoga mat.]
JAKE: Wow...
AMIR: (smiling) I know, right? Aaah! (Amir's signature aaah!)
JAKE: No, you obviously don't if you're the one wearing that.
AMIR: [I'm] Doing yoga, so.
JAKE: [It] Doesn't explain... (winces) this (gestures at Amir's outfit).
AMIR: Yeah. It's the hot yoga, so. Bikram.
JAKE: Still, I can't imagine that's appropriate attire for yoga, or.. work, especially.
AMIR: Yeah, well I didn't wanna change at work, ok, cuz it's gross here.
JAKE: You walked to work in that?
AMIR: No, I didn't (imitating Jake's tone) walk to work in that. I took the bus!
JAKE: Ugh, you're not wearing any shoes!
AMIR: And?
JAKE: It's snowy outside?
AMIR: AND?
JAKE: ..That's it!
AMIR: So let me get this straight: you're jealous, of--
JAKE: Wow, no, you're already wrong. You know what, put on socks, put on shoes, put on pants, put on a shirt--
AMIR: Put on a break! Bihtin br--
JAKE: What? Huh?
AMIR: (same tone as his first interjection) Gimme a break!
JAKE: Gimme a break?
AMIR: Yeah--
JAKE: --Right--
AMIR: --Sorry, you weren't saying gimme shoes, gimme this, so--
JAKE: No I was saying put on.
AMIR: Yeah, so I made due. You know, when live gives you lemons, (falsetto) you make due!
JAKE: Okay, forget it, that's not the phrase.
AMIR: Okay, yes, forget it, because I'm late for yoga!
JAKE: Wow, so you haven't even been to yoga yet?
AMIR: (loudly and annoyedly) OH MY GOD, no, I haven't been to yoga yet; I don't even know where I can enroll!
JAKE: You're not enrolled in a yoga class?!
AMIR: NO, I'M NOT ENROLLED IN A YOGA CLASS! Okay, I'm sorry, last time I checked, I came into work, and you stopped me, huh? I didn't say anything. So let's just sit across from each other, keep are nose to the f***ing grindstone and not talk to each other for half a second, huh? Is THAT an option, DUDE?
JAKE: (exhales) ...Okay, you're right. I'm sorry.
AMIR: ehehg! I... was... MESSING WITH YOU, MAN! Hahahah, come on, let's hug it out over that one--
JAKE: No.
AMIR: Yeah, we're definitely hugging it out--
JAKE: No, we're definitely not--
AMIR: WE DEFINITELY ARE!
END.
OUTRO:
[Jake and Amir are hugging, Amir is rocking back and forth.]