INTRO
Jake: Hey! You're watching Jake and Amir!
Amir: Hey! You're watching Jake and Amir!
Jake: Good, great job!
Amir: Likewise!
Amir frantically tries to open the door and start banging on it.
Amir: Help!
Jake: Push it! Ju--Push it!
Amir opens door
Amir: Sorry, almost lost my cool there for a second.
Jake: You did lose your cool there for a second
Amir: Filling out your March Madness Bracket?
Jake: Yeah!
Amir: I don't know why, it's just a Hallmark holiday right? Perpetrated by the grating card business to sell
chocolate!
Jake: Perpetuated and greeting were the words you were looking for there, okay? And you're thinking of
Valentine's day.
Amir: Do you want this chocolate bunny or not?
Amir: A long shot to win the whole thing, hmm. Don't mind if I per-due!
Jake: I'd prefer if you per-didn't.
Amir: Wow.. that was awful.
Amir: Hey, how do you spell 'hoops'?
Jake: So you're definitely filling out your bracket wrong.
Amir: Hmm.. True that.
Amir: I-- I'm sorry, you.. you're not funny. There are good jokes and there are bad jokes but that was so...
you're not funny.
Amir: Aw gorsh damn-nit I spelled 'North Carolina' wrong.
Jake: You spelled a lot of things wrong. You know North Carolina's not even in this tournament.
Amir: Not this tournament
Jake: Exactly.
Amir: Yeah.
Amir: I'm sorry, if it bends its funny, if it breaks its not funny and you broke it. It's shattered, it's gone, it's...
you're not funny.
Amir: A sixteen has never beaten a one, yet when i was sixteen... I beat plenty of ones.
Jake: Wow.
Amir: One-year olds, that is.
Jake: No I got it, that's why I said 'wow'.
Amir: It's just that comedy is tragedy plus time and your comedy is just tragedy, it stinks, it's bad, it's awful
man. Don't premine.. er premine if effor... perfer... Per-forget it, man! I did. It's-- you're done.
Amir: Well, you're not rootin' for Kansas anymore, Toto.
Jake: laughs
Amir: What was that? imitates laughing
Jake: I laughed
Amir pulls out his phone
Jake: What are you doing?
Amir: Taking a picture. Do it one more time imitates Jake's laugh again
Jake: No.
Amir: Alright. Check out this final score tiebreaker: one ninety-nine to six. So.. not likely but if it hits, I'm a
genius.
Jake: Yeah and you have all fifteen seeds in your final four.
Amir: Yeah, it's not likely, but if it hits I'll be--
Jake: You're never gonna be a genius.
Amir: Unless it hits...
Amir: sings Duke you have the time, to listen to me, Duke? No, I don't to the Duke, no Duke about it!
Jake: Please, please don't.
Amir: I mean you're trying to come up with jokes, and that in itself is funny like hahahaha but no, man. Don't.
Amir: You think its called 'Zero-cuse' University? Because they have zero cuses.
Jake: It's called 'Syracuse' not 'Zero-cuse.'
Amir: Yeah, my answer stands.
Jake: You didn't answer, you asked.
Amir: You're obsessed.
Amir: sings Sometime I give myself the..
Jake and Amir: Dukes.
Amir: Isn't it weird that we do this every year but we never play basketball together?
Jake: No.
Amir: That's why I propose that we--
Jake: I said it wasn't weird.
Amir: Let me finish. That we play basketball together. Oh wait that's not weird anymore
Jake: Is that a swastika?!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1B8nGUPwxyE