Jake & Amir | Script Archive

Beerd

Episode ID: 3

Air date: 2007-05-23

Video: Link

Jake: Hey, Amir. What are you doing?

Amir: I'm growing a beerd.

Jake: What's a beerd?

Amir: Well, you know what a beard is right?

Jake: Yeah.

Amir: So a beerd is like a beard, but made out of beer (holds up beer can).

Jake: Oh...

Amir: It's...beerd (motions with hands).

Jake: Kind of like a spork is a spoon and a fork?

Amir: Exactly.

Jake: Now I get it.

(Amir opens beer and proceeds to pour it on his chin)

Jake: You shouldn't do this.

Amir: It's, honestly, I'm like half-way done. It's almost over, practically.

Jake: The joke--the joke is in the spelling of beerd.

Amir: It's--look at me! It's too late! It doesn't matter if it's the spelling, it's too late.

Jake: It's then--it's not gonna work.

Amir: It is gonna work, just stop--

Jake: Let's do quick characters.

(another person enters bathroom. all laugh)

Amir: Jason, you weren't supposed to see this. Get out!

Jason: (backs out of bathroom) Send me a fax when I can pee.

Amir: Or--or anything. I'll send you an email or a fax. Let's do that again.