INTRO:
AMIR (high pitched): Hi, my name is Jake and you're watching my best friend and me do comedy videos.
VIDEO:
(Jake and Amir are sitting down in the office)
AMIR: OK! Focus please, we only have an hour to do this.
JAKE: You're just repeating what I said, OK, that's not helpful.
AMIR: OK, you know what else isn't helpful? The tickle monster!
(AMIR raises his hand to tickle JAKE)
JAKE: If you tickle me I'm gonna punch you in the head.
AMIR (going into tickle JAKE): Aah!
(JAKE swings to punch AMIR, who dodges his punch)
AMIR: Hoho! Swing and a-
(JAKE swings again, this time he punches AMIR in the nose)
AMIR: Aah!
JAKE: Sorry.
AMIR (holding his nose): Dang it!
JAKE: Yeah.
AMIR: You got me that time.
(AMIR's phone starts to ring)
JAKE: Gotcha.
AMIR (pulling phone out of pocket): Ooh, snap--
(AMIR reads phone, takes hand off nose)
I gotta get this.
JAKE: Take it. It's fine.
AMIR (getting up): I shall be right back.
(The phone starts to ring again. AMIR goes to try and tickle JAKE again. JAKE swings to punch AMIR but he jumps back in time)
AMIR: (Laughing) Oh, I'm sorry. You. Are. Too. Slooow. (Laughs)
(AMIR walks into side room and closes door)
AMIR (yelling, crying): Noooo! No! No! No! No! No! (Cries) Why!
(JAKE sits outside, looking uncomfortable)
AMIR (breaking down): I can't have this! Not today! (Cries) I love you so much! (Cries) Please, please call be back! Why! Why, why, why!
(AMIR instantly regains composure, he opens the door and returns to JAKE)
AMIR: Sup!
JAKE: Is everything OK?
AMIR: Yes! (Rapping) Let's get down to business, I don't got a (inaudible) Hell yeah! (laughs)
(AMIR's phone rings again, AMIR groans)
AMIR: Sorry! Again.
JAKE: Fine, get it.
AMIR (walking away): BRB, in the Middle E. I shall be right back. I will call you back mother-fucker.
JAKE: I told you it was okay.
(AMIR closes door)
AMIR (yelling): You are not getting a dime of this money! Not. One. Dime! Understood?
(JAKE is sitting outside blocking his ears)
AMIR: I have killed before, I will kill again, that is not the issue! Call me!
(AMIR instantly regains composure and returns outside)
AMIR: Bonjour madame. (Laughs)
JAKE: Uh, madame is girl. I really- I can just finish this up on my own.
AMIR: No? What? Nonsense!
(AMIR's phone rings)
AMIR (growing angry): Oh my gosh!
(Pause as AMIR considers something)
AMIR (calmly): I'm blowing up.
JAKE: Yeah.
AMIR (singing to the tune of Get the Party Started): I'm blowing up so you better get the party started.
(JAKE joins in at the end)
AMIR (still singing): I'm blowing up, I'm blowing. (Laughs)
JAKE: Go ahead.
(AMIR closes the door and answers the phone)
(AMIR starts yelling in what sounds like a mixture of Hebrew and English)
AMIR: Nie! Nie you! You are over, you understand me? (Maniacal laughter)
(AMIR starts screaming and jumping around before regaining composure and opening the door)
AMIR: Uh. (Knocks on door, laughs) Hey, I'm gonna have to take off a little bit early today-
JAKE: Yeah yeah that's fine.
AMIR: Ok.