Amir: (in an English accent) Hello, hello, you are watching Jake and Amir.
Jake: Just do it in a normal voice.
Amir: ...FRINE.
Amir: (makes loud buzzer noise) Time's up! That, my friends, is the sound of the pizza train.. leaving the kitchen.. station.. area. All right, one last time, hands up. How many slices do you guys want? Put your fingers—let me see the fingers in the air so I can see them. Zero? Zero, zero? Okay, so that's—let's do—I'll d—Okay, so I'm gonna eat all these by myself, but we're splitting the cost eight-ways. (laughs) Nah, just kidding. What? (expecting response)
[Jake walks in with papers.]
Amir: (smiling) Oh no! Okay! (laughs) Sound the alarms, you guys! Here comes the enemy; I see an intruder! We got him on our sight! Uh oh! (makes gun with hands) Hey, put your hands up where I can see! Freeze, sucka!
Jake: (puts hands up) Don't shoot; I came to give these to Marina. [Pause, then Amir pretend shoots Jake with accompanying sound effects.] Okay, fine. (to Marina, starting to explain papers) Um..
Amir: (laughing) Guys, I am messing with you, okay? You wonder where I get it from? (pointing to Jake) This is the guy right here; this is the man.
Jake: Okay, thank you. (to Marina) Um, so I printed this from the new printer; it's over.. by the conference room.
Amir: (enters shot) Allo! (laughs) Hey Marina, you wonder where I get it from? This is the guy, right here. Yeah.
Jake: (simultaneously) Right here, yeah. You already said that.
Amir: Okay, well, I'm talking, and nobody says a fucking word to me so I don't know if they can understand what I'm saying.
Jake: Just go back to your desk. Right now. Please.
Amir: I'm going. (laughs)
Jake: Thank you.
Amir: I get it. You need space.
Jake: Yep.
Amir: Yep. Distance.
Jake: Distance.
Amir: From point A from point B.
Jake: Yeah.
Amir: You don't want me up in your grill! (quickly embraces Jake)
Jake: (pushes Amir away) Get.. off of me.
Amir: That's fine.
Jake: Get off of me.
Amir: I'm going!
Jake: You sound like you're going, but you're still standing here. So I don't know what to think.
Amir: I just have—I just don't understand how you're gonna do any work... without a PEN! (grabs Marina's shirt pocket and rips it) AHH—OH... Um... This is—Okay, hey... No, um... (clicks pen) Number one: This is—I am sorry, 'cause this is totally.. on me. It's my bad comploodle. Uh, two: Blessing in disguise? I don't know, 'cause this shirt, IMHO, was.. a little—It didn't fit you well.. specifically.
Marina: It was my grandfather's.
Amir: It was your grandfather's.
Marina: YEAH.
Amir: Yeah... That's what I was gonna say. It was too... (rips fabric) ah, too big. Let me—Okay... (rips more) Ah! We're gonna alter it, and then.. let me make it up to you. Pizza, on me? You're still paying! (laughs) No... We'll go dutch.
THE END