Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir—
Amir: Robert De Niro!
Jake: Are you trying to convince people he's here?
Amir: I don't know...
Amir: I can't believe we're moving in together.
Jake: Do you know what this move's about?
Amir: It's about.. the rest of our lives.
Jake: No, we're moving offices.
Amir: We're moving each other.
Jake: Technically, but just offices.
Amir: Oh my gosh, it's a draft of the first letter I ever wrote you.
Jake: I remember that. My second day here. It was pretty creepy.
Amir: Read it?
Amir: Remember when Grandpa built this place?
Jake: Don't force it.
Amir: (simultaneously) Force it.
Jake: Don't force it.
Amir: Yeah... I won't force it.
Jake: What up, bitch? I'm the class clown here.
Amir: Yeah...
Amir: Shhh... (pulls out gun)
Jake: Dude, no, no—
[Amir drops gun.]
Guy: AHH!
Jake: Oh—OH MY GOD!
Jake: What are some of your favorite words? Mine might match up. Your jeans fit you insanely well, and your attitude is ridiculously cool.
Amir: (simultaneously) Cool.
Jake: Yeah...
Amir: Whoa. I just realized something. If this office burns down, we won't have to move.
Jake: That's the opposite of true.
Amir: (snaps) Get the kerosene.
Jake: No, it's not true—
Amir: GET THE KERO—
Jake: You're just like the ocean under the moon. It's the same as the emotion that I get from—Yeah, you just, like, kinda transcribed Rob Thomas for a while there.
Amir: Yeah... The song was popular at the time.
Jake: It wasn't...
Amir: (wipes hands) I think I'm done! Packing-wise.
Jake: (holds up Jake puppet) This is the only thing you have in here.
Amir: ♪ It's my Jake in a box! ♫
Jake: Just don't.
Amir: Oh my god, remember when we got this?
Jake: Those are Sarah's scissors; she bought them yesterday.
Amir: Okay, I'm gonna put 'em in my box, though.
Jake: Okay, no, Sarah! Sarah—
Amir: (makes noises over Jake) NARK!
Amir: You know what? Let's stay.
Jake: How do you think that's up to you?
Amir: Okay, you know what? Let's go. (picks up box to leave)
Jake: Still not up to you, but... (follows Amir)
[Shot of Jake and Amir's empty desks fades to black.]
THE END