Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir: I'm still in the room, okay?
Jake: ...Yup.
Amir: T, U, V, W, X, Y, und... Z! Z, Z, Z, Z, Z. Z, Z, Z, Z!
Jake: Great—Yes, I got it! Great job, man. Maybe next time you start—
Amir: Start before T? Okay, don't even think about it; you know I'm dyslexic.
Jake: You're not dyslexic.
Amir: Lazy.
Jake: You're illiterate.
Amir: Cute.
Jake: Illiterate.
Amir: Ah!
Jake: No! No, I know what that look is; you just convinced yourself that I said you were cute, and not illiterate.
Amir: I will take you calling me cute over illiterate... every day, okay?
Jake: Any day, and I know you'd take that. I'm not giving it, okay? I didn't say you were cute. [Amir dances rapidly in seat.] No, what is that? Do you think I'm singing you a very fast-paced song?
Amir: Techno.
Jake: Okay, you know what, forget it. I'm—wow, do you see this email?
Amir: What's up?
Jake: Did you see it, or are you asking what's up?
Amir: _____, I'm looking for it now.
Jake: We're moving offices.
Amir: (gasps) Holy moving, Batmat!
Jake: Did you say, Batmat?
Amir: No...
Jake: Okay, it is a big deal, all right? It's gonna be a totally different office.
Amir: Oh my god, a totally different office? Oh no, it won't be the same office! (dramatically fakes crying)
Jake: Your commute might be a lot longer!
Amir: (gasps) My commute? WHY? Oh god, why is my commute gonna be longer? It's gonna be cold; I'm gonna need a scarf! [Jake: Okay.] Where do I get a scarf?
Jake: Forget it! The one upside to this is maybe I won't have to sit next to you anymore.
Amir: OH N—Oh.. no! Really? What? Why not? Where would you—where would you sit?
Jake: Are you actually crying now?
Amir: I don't know.
THE END
I can't quite approximate what Amir says here... Homa?