INTRO
AMIR: Sup?
JAKE: You're watching Jake and Amir right?
AMIR: Sup?
JAKE Stop.
AMIR SU-rry...
JAKE is working at his desk; AMIR enters wearing a cowboy hat. He awkwardly sits down and takes off the hat.
AMIR [Boastfully]: Ohh, hats off to me.
JAKE: Whoa! New haircut.
AMIR: Yes sir [laughs] what do ya think?
JAKE: You're kidding right?
AMIR: Yeah, I'm kidding [laughs] why am I kidding?
JAKE: It's obviously terrible
AMIR [in a funny voice]: I know it, don't I know it?
JAKE [in the same voice]: Then why'd you get it?
AMIR: I got it because I needed a haircut but the girl obviously messed up bad!
JAKE: So you sit down you were like; 'oh hey maam can I have the worst haircut ever?'
AMIR [defensively]: No! I didn't which is why I'm going back there today and demanding my money, comes back to me.
JAKE: Sounds about right, good job.
AMIR: I'm gonna walk in there and be like look-
JAKE [Interrupting]: You don't have to say anything, yeah, when it's that bad you just walk in. You walk in and you're like PSSH!
Jake gestures to his hair.
Amir shoots Jake a finger gun In agreement.
AMIR: Sounds about right, sounds about right.
JAKE: Yeah
AMIR: What should I do until then because right now it's stuck in this bad state right?
JAKE [shaking his head]: I don't know dude.
AMIR [Aggressively/fighting back tears]: Well don't say 'I don't know dude' ehh? Because right now you're the only person who's actually telling it like it is so what do you think I should do?
JAKE: I don't know what you want me to say.
Amir slams his hands onto his desk violently.
AMIR [Yelling]: Just give me some frikken advice okay? Everyone else is sugar coating it they're all like 'oh nice haircut bro, looking good' but I obviously don't okay? So please I need you right now just tell me what to do I don't know what to do!
Amir slumps his head onto the desk and starts loudly sobbing.
JAKE: Stop- It's fi-
Amir continues to cry.
JAKE: Dude I got you!
Amir stops crying
JAKE: Gotcha! Buddy?
Amir looks up, sniffling.
AMIR: I got you.
JAKE: I was kidding, your-you got me?
Amir cracks a smile
JAKE: Got me.
Amir is still struggling to keep from crying
JAKE: Look at you; you're not really sad.
Amir shakes his head.
JAKE: You don't care.
AMIR [still upset]: I don't give a crap.
JAKE [positively]: That's good; we've got each other!
AMIR: I got you...
JAKE: We've got each other.
AMIR [urgently]: We HAVE each other.
JAKE: We got each other
AMIR [Panicked]: We have each other!
JAKE: We got...okay, we have each other we have each other! We have eachother we have each other!
Amir slumps his head down onto the desk again.
JAKE [Singing]: We have each other, we got the world...
Amir joins in
Together [Singing]: ...Spinnin' right in our hands baby, you and me. We gotta be, the luckiest dreamers who never stopped dreamin'