Intro
Jake: Hey you're watching Jake and
Amir: Amiiiiiiiiiiiir
Jake: I can not believe I let you do that.
Jake opens door and walks in to bathroom, looks horrified
Jake: Oh!
Amir: (off camera) Oh, woah woah woah!
Amir is on toilet with door open
Jake: Sorry!
Amir: Perve alarm! Come on! Ever heard of knocking?!
Jake: Knock- what? What are you talking about?
Amir: Knocking! It's where you make a fist with your hand and you hit stuff, you hit-
Jake: - I know what knocking is, this isn't a single bathroom.
Amir: There isn't a single bathroom that what? Finish your sentences! You always tell me to finish my sentences!
Jake: THIS isn't, THIS is not a single bathroom.
Amir: Oh, okay.
Jake: Right?
Amir: We're at an impasse. That's fine.
Jake: Okay, do you know what impasse means?
Amir: It's... everything you want. It's.... everything you need. (singing) It's everything inside of you that you wish
Jake: You could be. Okay shut the door.
Amir: You shut the door. Come here. Please.
Jake. No. No!
Amir: Come here!
Jake: No!
Amir: Come here!
Jake: NO! What is wrong with you?
Dave walks in
Dave: Jesus, what are you guys doing?
Jake: It's not what it looks like.
Jake is hit by flying poo
Jake: Urgh! Oh! Oh!
Amir points to tub of chocolate pudding he is holding
Jake: Geez, thank God, what are you, what, what are you doing?!
Pat walks in
Pat: Dude, is that shit?
Jake: No no no, it's pudding.
Jake puts some in his mouth then gags