INTRO:
AMIR: Gimme a J!
JAKE: No time to spell my name.
AMIR: Ok I was spelling MY name.
JAKE: Then you were wrong.
AMIR: Ah.
[Jake and Amir are sitting at their desks. Amir finishes a glass of water and gets up to walk to the bathroom.]
AMIR: Ueh. Jake, I'm going to pee.
JAKE: Don't tell me, from now on, ok?
(As Amir is walking by a metal filing cabinet, he crashes into it.)
JAKE: Wow. Blumenfeld, you kidding me with that?
AMIR: (Exasperated) Am I kidding you with that? Is she (gesturing to an employee sitting next to the cabinet) kidding me with this? I mean look at this, the drawer is like out to here! You can't even walk past it!
JAKE: There's.. a little bit of space.
AMIR: Here, come here, I wanna see you walk by it. I wanna see you walk by it.
JAKE: I can see it from here, there's like a foot of spa--
AMIR: (Moving the cabinet so the drawer blocks the walkway) Well it wasn't like it-- It was like this, or something.
JAKE: It was like that? You just practically broke it. Look-- it's fine. I was kidding. Relax.
AMIR: Well I'm not kidding, ok man? This is fucking.. fire hazard.
JAKE: It's fucking fire hazard?--
AMIR: A.. fucking fire hazard--
JAKE: Ok so you care about fire hazard all of a sudden. You've covered my desk with lit candles before.
AMIR: Yeah. I was trying to have a seance with you, I'm not going to apologize for that- NOT in a gay way!
JAKE: Ok, didn't think it was until now. Why don't you just learn to laugh at yourself? People will respect you more for that.
AMIR: ...I am funny.
JAKE: That's not.. exactly what I meant.
AMIR: (pointing at Jake) Funniest person it the office?
JAKE: ...Not saying that.
AMIR: 'Preciate it.
JAKE: Didn't say it.
AMIR: (starting to smile) I forgot what we were even laughing about. (He laughs and turns to walk to the bathroom, hitting the drawer again. He turns around and smacks his fist into his palm in frustration.)
JAKE: That's fine.
AMIR: (with a cheesy smile) That's fine.
JAKE: No one saw you do it.
AMIR: (laughing) I know.
JAKE: What do you do, you laugh it off. Clumsy me!
AMIR: (laughing) Clumsy..
JAKE: There you go
AMIR: (laughing) Clumsy you...
JAKE: Clumsy you.
AMIR: Clumsy me...
JAKE: Alright. Go to the bathroom.
(Amir repeatedly smacks the cabinet with a baseball bat and his foot until Amir sees Jake turn around and recoils in surprise.)
AMIR: (Gesturing with the bat) What's up, ahh..
END.