INTRO
AMIR: That's one small video for man, one giant video for mankind.
JAKE: Same video, though.
AMIR: Houston, we have a problem.
(Jake is at desk, Amir approaches with coat)
AMIR: Hey, hey. I got you something. So.
JAKE: Is this the jacket I was looking at yesterday?
AMIR: 'Tis.
SARAH: (swiveling around) Did you guys go shopping together, yesterday?
JAKE: No, no, no. (whispering to Amir) Get back to the desk, back to the desk.
AMIR: I mean, you said you needed a nice jacket but it was too expensive but I figure you deserve it.
JAKE: Wow. (putting it on) Thank you.
AMIR: (sitting down) Uhh, no problem. Just pay me back wheneva. Hm. (pause) Oh. (laughs) What's the hardest part about coming out of the closet?
JAKE: What?
AMIR: Telling your dad that you're gay.
JAKE: I think you mean the hardest part about rollerblading.
AMIR: Huh?
JAKE: The joke is What's the hardest part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.
AMIR: No, the hardest part about rollerblading is the jumps.
JAKE: Hey, I'm not gonna pay you back for this jacket.
AMIR: What?
JAKE: Earlier, you said something about me paying you back for the jacket and I wanted you to know that I'm not gonna pay you back.
AMIR: You don't have to- You don't have to pay me back right now.
JAKE: I know, that's true. I also don't ever have to pay you back.
AMIR: You don't have to pay me back with money or whatever, I don't want cash.
JAKE: Okay, I don't wanna owe you any favors either.
AMIR: What?
JAKE: I didn't buy the jacket because it was too expensive which means I don't wanna gradually pay you back in any way.
AMIR: Just take me out to a series of dinners where at in the end result, the sum, is total to or greater than the amount of the jacket, and the bonus would be the thoughtfulness of me paying for the jacket-
JAKE: You'er basically saying exactly what I don't want to do, and you're making it a little worse by adding extra stuff on top of it.
AMIR: Right.
JAKE: (taking off jacket) Just take the jacket back.
AMIR: I don't want the jacket!
JAKE: Well why don't you return it and you can take the money?
AMIR: I don't want your f*cking money, okay? I just want your time and your gifts that greater than or equal to-
JAKE: The security tag is still in this.
AMIR: Yes. So?
JAKE: Which means you stole it.
AMIR: Right. No big deal, all you have to do is not walk by any stores, okay? Which I would have told you on one of out many first dates if you weren't being such a tightwad about it!
JAKE: First- first whats?
AMIR: Dinners.
JAKE: Dinners? You said dates.
AMIR: No.
JAKE: Anybody heard- Who heard him say dates?
SARAH: I did.
AMIR: Nobody.
JAKE: That's one.
AMIR: One of many.
THE END