[Van crashed into pole]
Narrator: Previously on Jake and Amir
[Jump cut]
[Jake on phone]
Jake: This is beyond my control, okay? There is an accident and...
[Jump cut]
[Jake pushes doors of van open]
[Jump cut]
Jamie: There's always something. I'm done waiting.
[Jump Cut]
Bang Bros. Employee: You're gonna have to...
[Jump Cut]
Bang Bros. Employee: Talk to my boss
[INTRO]
Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir and Jake's not gonna stay mad at me if I tickle him!
Amir: Get off!
Jake: Ow!
[Jump Cut to clothing store]
Jake: So this is Bang Bros headquarters.
Sam: I feel I'm in Willy Wonka's porno factory.
[Sam picks up lingerie]
Amir: Everything smells sticky.
[Amir sniffs lingerie]
Jake: Sticky isn't a smell, put this down.
[Jake pushes lingerie down]
Jake: Just keep your heads down. Look apologetic.
Amir: Okay, this is probably a bad time to bring this up, but I haven't eaten in 48 hours!
Sam: We had a goldfish in North Carolina.
Jake: Like the cracker?
Sam and Amir: Uhhh... yeah!
Sam: We also murdered a whole bunch of....... Hey look at this!
Amir: Oh my gosh!
Jake: Did you say about... murder?
[jump cut]
Amir: Woah! Check it out!
[Amir holds up a purple shoe with polka dots]
Jake: Ah! You know where we spent this? (Not sure) It's purple and purple
Amir: Purple and purple, what do you think dude?
Jake: Well, plaid with polka dots, so that's a no. Also, you're an asshole.
Amir: Yeah that's true. Well, let's put it in the maybe pile.
[Amir shoe into big pile]
Jake: You gonna pick them up?
Amir: Maybe.
[throws another shoe in the pile]
[Jump Cut to Andy's Office]
Andy: Take a seat.
[The three sit down]
Jake: In your own chair, right?
Amir: Well, he didn't specify, so....
Andy: You crashed my van, now I'm gonna crash yours.
Jake: Um, we don't have a van.
Andy: Wow. Wasn't ready for that. Well I'm missing a Bang Bros episode so you guys are gonna have to shoot something.
Amir: Done. What are your thoughts on astronaut accountants?
[Jake covers Amir's mouth]
Amir: [muffled] From outer space!
Jake: No, no. We're not really comfortable filming anything with you guys, so...
Andy: Look, you don't have to do anything uncomfortable, just fill this form out.
[Hands them forms]
Amir: Fill out the forms. Just fill out the forms!
Jake: We're looking at the forms.
Amir: I am anal about some stuff... I'll put yes.
Jake: No. No. No.
Sam: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
[They hand forms in]
Andy: Wow, yes across the board. That's a first time. You even added a box. What's yeastiality?
Sam: Yeastiality... I will have sex with a cake.
[Jump Cut]
Jake: Alright, here's the plan. I think we can slip out of here at some point.
Sam: Definitely.
[Pulls shirt off]
Jake: Why are you taking off your clothes?
Sam: I assume we're gonna sneak back in at some point!
Amir: So....
[Cut to girl walking in room]
Jake: Jamie!
Jamie: Jake?
Jake: What are you doing here? I thought you had an audition!
Jamie [sheepishly]: I got the part...
[To be continued]