JAKE: Hey, you're watching Jake and A-
AMIR: Oh, oh, do one where you're wearing my glasses.
JAKE: K, no one will be able to know.
AMIR: I'll be able to know.
AMIR: (singing, with Julia Nunes playing the ukelele) You'll fix everything by just being here.
AMIR: (talking) So that's about Jake, specifically.
JULIA NUNES: That was...9 minutes long.
AMIR: Yeah, line, nine, well this next one's double that, so...(in his wacky high voice) It's good stuff.
JULIA NUNES: Are you crying?
AMIR: No, it's just...
AMIR: (singing) 1, 2, aah!, 4, (Julia Nunes starts playing) dirty blond, clean guy, what you got in his eyes, they are blue, so are you, when you're not around son, (Jake walks in) oh sheesh, here he is, I cannot contain my ji--, look at him, wearing shirts, eating lots of yogur-
JAKE: Stop! What is going on? Why are you here?
AMIR: I think you've heard of internet music sensation, Julia Nunes.
(Julia Nunes plays a couple chords, like ta-dah)
JAKE: Yes, I have, which is why I asked WHY she was here.
AMIR: Ah, k, I am Amir. So..(to Julia Nunes) do the...when you...
(Julia Nunes plays the ta-dah again)
AMIR: Yeah.
JAKE: You're still not answering my question.
JULIA NUNES: Amir said that if we recorded some tracks for him, he'd put me in touch with his cousin, Leron, who owns a record label, right?
AMIR: Yeah, totally.
JAKE: Pretty sure Leron runs a laser tag.
AMIR: Jake, a word. Conference room please.
JAKE: No.
AMIR: Okay, fair enough, worth a shot.
JAKE: God, Amir, you cannot just lie to people to get them to do stuff for you.
AMIR: Can? or can't?
JAKE: I specifically said cannot so you wouldn't be confused.
AMIR: Yeah, that's true, I appreciate that, Jake. Julia, feeling inspired right now. Quickly, something slow.
(Julia Nunes starts playing)
AMIR: (singing) He's too good to me, knowing what I should be. Correcting me but in a way that doesn't make me feel dumb.
JAKE: It should, okay. Julia, I'm really sorry, but Amir lied to you.
AMIR: Julia, quick! Something poppy!
AMIR: (singing as Julia Nunes plays) Jake, be quiet, she doesn't know I lied. Got her to come to the city, cuz I am so very witty. My cousin doesn't really own a record label.
JAKE: Amir, she can understood you when you sing. It's not like spelling things in front of a toddler, or you.
AMIR: (singing, but Julia Nunes is not playing) If she could understand what I'm saying, she wouldn't play her mini-guitar while I sing this song, and bam bam ba bam bam
JULIA NUNES: It's a ukelele.
AMIR: Yes, I've been meaning to talk to you about. The word ukelele, I don't know if that's gonna fly, just cuz a lot of people can't spell it.
JAKE: Julia, I'm really sorry. I'm sure it cost a lot of money to get down to New York. Amir is going to pay you back.
AMIR: Yes, I am. That's true. I can pay you back in regular old money. (in a high voice, but not Amir's wacky high voice) Who needs it? (normal) Or... (singing acappella) I can sing the prettiest song to you...make you feel like a nat-
(Cut to ATM. Amir is withdrawing money)
AMIR: Twenty, forty, yeah. This should be more than enough. (singing acappella) You still have to change your mind. If you want to change your mind, the money's g-
(Julia Nunes takes the money)
AMIR: Okay, yes, just the money then, that makes sense. Because, you can spend money, but the song is-
JAKE: Just go home, man.
AMIR: Why would anybody ch-
JAKE: Just go home.
AMIR: I'm gonna go home.