[Intro]
Jake: Hey you're watching Jake and Ami-
[THUD]
Amir: Ow! I'm sorry, are you okay?
Jake: Oh! I'm bleeding
[Amir sits alone at a desk holding his legs above his head, he holds a lighter between his legs and flicks it on]
Amir: Aw yeah, [Sings the baseball home run sound effect] Come on baby one time!
[Jake enters and Amir sits down properly. Jake slams a large file down on the desk and sits down next to him]
Jake: Hey! Do you mind explaining this?
Amir: This? Oh that's [laughs] that is a menu to a Thai food restaurant
Jake: That's what this is?
Amir: Yiiiis
Jake: Okay cool. Um, you can actually just say Thai restaurant, you don't have to say Thai food restaurant it accomplishes the exact same thing
Amir: [laughs again] Oh yeah! I guess you're right. Okay, Peace out!
Jake: [mockingly] Peace out!
Amir: Peace in the middle ea-
Jake: Because I thought what this was was a complete comprehensive list of every single outfit I've ever worn since I started working here
Amir: No.
Jake: No?
Amir: No no, it's not.
Jake: [While grabbing the first page from under Amir's hand] Do you mind if I refer to the first page here?
Amir: Yah!
Jake: Because here... [Amir clicks the lighter a few times and Jake grabs it from his hand and throws it across the room] The first 'item' on your menu isn't like pad Thai or spring rolls it's December 3rd Jake is wearing blue jeans, yellow belt, grey hoodie and white shoes. With a smiley face, so
Amir: Okay, can we backtrack for like, half a second? I have a feeling that you can say Thai Food restaurant, you know what I mean? Yes it does sound a little redundant but I think, like I've heard Leron once-
Jake: This is seriously fucking disturbing Amir! I know you're a weirdo. I get that! You're stupid, you're a moron, you're creepy, you're freakishly obsessed with me but this crosses the line. It's seriously fucked, it is. It's [Stutters the word 'It' repeatedly]
Amir: IT'S IT'S IT'S TODAY JUNIOR!
[Silence for almost a minute. Amir dances, makes noises and tries to high five Jake during the silence]
Amir: [Putting his hand onto the file] I'm gonna get rid of this
Jake: No I'm gonna get rid of it
Amir: DON'T FUCKING TOUCH IT