Jake and Amir: Hilary
[INTRO]:
JAKE: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.
AMIR: I do declare!
JAKE: Declare what?
AMIR: I don't know.
[VIDEO]:
(HILARY is at her desk talking on the phone)
HILARY (on phone): Nope, that definitely won't work, it absolutely has to be-
(JAKE and AMIR are sitting opposite each other at their desks)
AMIR: Oh my god! I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill her, I'm sorry!
JAKE: Who?
AMIR: Who? Who? Sarah! That's who!
JAKE: That's Hilary.
AMIR: Oh... OK well whatever man she's annoying as... WORMS!
JAKE (Confused): What?
AMIR: I dunno.
JAKE: She's a producer, OK? So part of her job is to talk on the phone. Just relax.
AMIR: OK, well I got something she can (air quotes) produce.
JAKE: What's that?
AMIR: (Pauses to consider) Worms!
JAKE: Stop saying worms?
AMIR (Angrily): Aaaaah!
(AMIR bangs the desk three times)
JAKE: What is the matter with you?
AMIR: Oh my god. Have you ever been so frustrated by someone at work that you just can't take it anymore?
JAKE: Every single day, for the last two years-
AMIR: Alright, F-it. Listen, I'm gonna go do some- I'm gonna go shut her up. I'm sorry.
JAKE: Don't do that.
AMIR: I'm not gonna hit her OK? Relax.
JAKE: I said don't do that before I thought you might hit her.
AMIR: Really?
JAKE: Look if you absolutely have to you can go other there and calmly, kindly ask her to please talk quietly.
AMIR: Fine.
JAKE: Amir. (Making eye contact) Eyes.
AMIR: Wha?-
JAKE: Gimme your eyes. I trust you.
AMIR: I love you too.
JAKE and AMIR: Trust you-
AMIR: -yes, I trust you.
(AMIR gets up and goes over to HILARY)
HILARY (On the phone): No, I just, I don't think that's gonna work for Win, I mean I have to-
(AMIR knocks on her desk)
AMIR: Hilary, Hilary?
HILARY: Yeah?
AMIR: Hi, I am so sorry, uh, Amir by the way I work over there with Jakey.
HILARY: OK...
(Simultaneously)
AMIR: Um hi...
HILARY: Hi...
AMIR: If you could just maybe- if you take that phone call somewhere else that'd be so helpful.
HILARY: Sure...
AMIR: Or, or if even you have to talk here just talk like, half a decibel quieter?
HILARY: Hang on. (On the phone) Uh, Bob, lemme call you back. (Hangs up)
HILARY: I'm so sorry about that!
(Simultaneously)
AMIR: No problem at all!
(AMIR slaps HILARY across the face, she gasps)
AMIR: Aah, go- (To JAKE, who rushes over) I'm so sorry dude, I tried, I really tried, it's just sometimes (Points to HILARY, through his teeth) Eeeh, you can't really do anything else with them-